Silver Tongue

Sep 28

uncle-cucky:

1 uncle vs 1000 ants

Would you rather fight 1000 ant size uncles or one Uncle sized ant

incorrectfmaquotes:

Ling: You know what your problem is? You don’t appreciate anything I bring to the party.

Ed: I have never seen you bring anything to a party, except a Ziploc bag to steal the shrimp.

[video]

segachick:

here she is, my children

Gamzette

(via transformationstuck)

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

birdonabird:

avatar-14:

tastefullyoffensive:

(via lowghen)

MAKE HIM REGRET

*spec prep*

BEING BORN

*spec prep*

So my husband tells a story about a guy he worked with at his first job. They’d regularly go to a Thai restaurant near their office - one of those really legit places where grandma is the chef. So the guy says one day to their server, looks this girl dead in the eye, and says “You can’t make it hot enough.”

Server gives him this look like “your funeral” and takes the order to the kitchen. GRANDMA COMES OUT AND LOOKS AT THIS POOR WHITE BOY, shakes her head, and goes back in the kitchen.

When the dish comes out, it’s a solid mass of just RED. Dudes at the table are dying just sitting near it. This guy tries his damnedest, gets about five bites in, and can’t do it. Mr You-cant-make-it-hot-enough was fucking obliterated by Chef Grandma.

And to add insult to injury, they replaced the dish for him, and GRANDMA BRINGS IT OUT, gives him a look and shakes her head.

I think there’s a reasonable chance this was his receipt.

HE BROUGHT IT ON HIMSELF BY TALKING SHIT ABOUT THEIR PAD THAI

(via ryukodragon)

probablybadrpgideas:

A bag of holding. It doesn’t store more then a normal bag but if you are sad it grows arms and gives you a hug.

lychgate:

rakhila:

ladysaytenn:

Also do you guys really think that paypig post is real? Anyone can edit their PayPal balance via developer tools, I made this fake screenshot a month ago.

Doesn’t hurt to reblog this. Worst that can happen is I don’t get any of that $50000000 bajillion dollars

-flashes a picture of my biweekly paystub- no way it works….

(via jwcartoonist)

[video]

swan2swan:

swan2swan:

Brett Kavanaugh rn

I just selected that frame because it was the funniest but then

(via tamascotchi-deactivated20190101)

seaofdreams:

Magnus, a man with no children and who sees Angus as tiny: [looking at toddler clothes] would these fit Angus? They say twelve to fourteen m-

Taako, an elf with a very bad grasp on human lifespans: he’s thirteen, he’s defs a toddler those are fine

Merle, who has children but they’re dwarves: these might be too big actually

Angus, a normal sized teenage human: uh,

(via moirathaurissan)