In the same vein as other ‘things humans do that aliens might be weirded out by’ what if human pattern recognition skills were the thing? Like the ability to see a cloud resolve into a dog, or faces in wall patterns. Stuff that evolved from predators having camouflaging abilities, or let’s face it, bugs that can look basicaly like a leaf to prey ON.
Imagine an alien being super confounded by a human being like ‘oh, that control board looks like a face’ and it’s just this big grouping of random lights and line but no ALL the humans on board think it looks like a FACE and theyve started NAMING it. And it just seems so confusing- is there anything on this flat painted wall? ‘No of course not’ HOW IS THERE AN OF COURSE NOT. What about in that galaxy? And the human squints and stares at it and says ‘yeah, it looks like a cat.’
And they an draw out what they’re recognizing in the lines but it’s just so strange.
And then an enemy develops ‘cloaking technology’ that’s based on camouflaging and are so angry that every single human is able to point it out because it’s a completely obvious moving shape to them.
or: alien species are introduced to leaf insects, tigers, and that one octopus that imitates a coconut and freak the heck out.
god I love this kind of post
The Girrami had never known deception until they started expanding into the greater galaxy. They did not like it. The closest word in their home language for deception translated roughly to “speaking before having all the facts”. It had taken time to learn that other races would outright hide information, or worse, speak untruths for their own ends.
It was fortunate, the Girrami thought, that they had resources that the race who called themselves “Humans” desperately needed for medical supplies. The fact that the Girrami had (in line with their overarching philosophy of sharing what was needed) offered these resources freely, without (as the Humans would say) “strings attached”, had made many the Humans quickly warm to the Girrami, and in turn, freely offer the Girrami advice on how to better negotiate.
Human: “Honestly, that was almost embarrassing to watch. Tell you what, you said that you had contact with the Farop?”
Cappa Girrami: “Yes. We have had… difficulties in our dealings with that race.”
Human: “Yeah that must have been like watching puppies walk through a meatgrinder. Those guys are total assholes. Tell you what, your medicine saved my little boy, so I’m willing to do a little quid pro quo. Are you people familiar with the concept of a corporate lawyer? Because I am willing to offer you my services for cheap. No, don’t thank me, this will be my pleasure.”
Humans sometimes had the most odd and upsetting turns of phrase. But once the Girrami started contracting these… lawyers and businesspeople to conduct major negotiations, many of their dealings with other races did seem to be flowing a lot more smoothly.
It did however make the Girrami wonder just how it was that the humans had become so adept at sensing deception. It seemed natural to them to start learning to “lie” and detect untruths from an early age.
And then the Girrami scientists were invited to observe a collection of specimens kept in a “natural history museum” and suddenly it all made sense.
Girrami Scientist 1: “Wait, what is that!?”
Human: “It’s a stick insect.”
Girrami Scientist 2: “And that?”
Human: “A leaf insect.”
Girrami Scientist 1: “…your insects practice deception?”
Human: “… I guess you could call it that? It’s a form of camouflage.”
Girrami Scientist 2: “What is this…’camouflage’?”
And then the Girrami realised that the Humans came from a planet where deception was so endemic that even plants practiced it.
No wonder the Humans were so good at detecting it.
As well as this “pattern recognition” humans have another trait that is equally, if not more, frightening. They call this trait instinct. The ability to perceive the outcome to a situation with no discernible data input of any kind.
It has been documented on ground missions where humans have been part of the squad, that they have detected ambushes long before sensors pick up readings. The only explanation they have given is “I had a gut feeling”.
Having corresponded with human scholars, in an attempt to understand this wholly bizarre phenomena, it was explained to me like this. The same way humans developed pattern recognition due to their planet being inhabited by species that actively deceive their pray/predator with ‘camouflage’, they have evolved a base system for it that takes no cognitive thought processes.
It is frightening to think that humans have been the top predator on their planet and still had to develop a system of threat recognition that takes no active thought to use. And that it is now put to a multitude of uses outside of hunter gatherer situations makes them lethal in ways we are still figuring out.
And it’s never really turned off. Even when they sleep, instinct is consistently monitoring their body’s condition. Temperature variation, proximity senses, the highly trained humans can tell when someone is invading their space even when unconscious and wake up alert and ready to engage in combat if need be thanks to instinct telling their system to pump them full of the combat drug ‘adrenaline’ (another frightening thing humans have).
I digress, human instinct is a frightening thing as it goes far beyond a danger detection system. It permeates into the entire social awareness package that humans have. It makes them amazing allies, and horrendous potential enemies.
And don’t even get the humans started on the “mothers have eyes in the back of their head” phenomenom. They will complain for hours about how it impeded childhood mischief, but never explain how it is possible for these “eyes” to exist when there is no physical evidence of them.
