Silver Tongue

Aug 31

Dicking Around

Storytime!

Halloween a few years back my mates and I were dressed up for Halloween and my cat furry roommate (good guy, furries are entertaining folks) was wearing his partial suit out with us. We were in Boston proper and all of us were on a budget at the time, so the only option for a late night drink and dinner open to us was a place called Dick’s Last Resort.

If you’ve never been, the big draw at Dick’s is that they’re dicks to you. The staff are sarcastic, they throw your menus and straws and shit at you, and they make you hats that say mean stuff.
I don’t get it either. So anyways, we’ve got - I’ll call him Frank - the cat with us, and Frank’s 100% ready to go fuck with Dicks, so we head on in.

The waitress starts doing her bit, but the cat in the room has thrown off her game and she doesn’t really know how to handle Frank in Full Cat mode.
He points out the drink he wants without speaking, with a paw, on the menu and she asks for an ID and starts saying ‘I swear to god your ID better have a big fuckkin’ cat on it or-“
She threw his licence back at us and walked away speechless. Didn’t talk to us the rest of the evening.

Anyways, I dug up this old photo today and thought it deserved to be preserved for posterity. So here you go, the day Frank broke Dicks.

(via theclockworkpony-deactivated202)

varigo:

I’D RATHER RESCUE MYSELF

(via moonpaw)

(via pembrokewkorgi)

[video]

Aug 30

daveycameronisapie:

Is there anything more excruciating than not knowing if someone is “feel bad, need space”, “feel bad, need u to reach out” or “literally fine, just busy, stop pestering me”

(via mbulteau)

systlin:

all-part-of-the-act:
systlin:
systlin:
all-part-of-the-act:
systlin:
My neighbor was out taking the insulation cones off of his roses and carefully pruning them today.
I also went out and pruned mine. (I didn’t give them any special winter insulation. They’re on their own.) And by ‘pruned’ I mean ‘whacked back the bramble hedge with a machete where it was threatening to grow out of bounds’.
(Seriously my rose hedge is approaching 4 feet tall and almost as thick)
And he was giving me dirty looks the whole time because it pisses him off so much that I pay no special attention to my roses and yet they always do better than his.
I still haven’t told him that my secret is ‘plant tough-as-nails own root old fashioned rugosa cultivars rather than finicky hybrid teas’ because honestly his quiet frustration is hilarious.
a few centuries ago he probably would have accused u of witchcraft ;)
I mean…to be fair…he would be totally correct in that…
Also my rose hedge is now 6 feet tall and his Mister Lincoln rose, which he carefully mulched and put a insulation cone on, died this year.
was it assassinated
PPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Originally posted by bearsandballs

(via aeritus)

whitepeopletwitter:

Its always the damn white people.

whitepeopletwitter:

Admirable sarcasm and sentiment

(via mbulteau)