(via scafe-dragon)
Oh my god. So my mom has proposed a total ban on political debates on Thanksgiving and she intends to enforce this by not only putting up a sign at the dinner table….but by also arming everyone with cheap plastic kazoos….which we will toot aggressively if The Discourse™ begins to occur…..
I’m so glad.
Bad and naughty discoursers must be silenced by the KAZOO OF CIVILITY.
(via chefpyro)
[video]
amazon employee: so how about that new season of stranger thi-
jeff bezos over a walkie-talkie: take the shot
(via chefpyro)
my brother is teaching his cat how to high five by giving her a treat every time she successfully taps her hand to his hand, which is all well and good, but now she thinks that she is entitled to food every time she high fives someone. i can’t eat in the same room as her anymore because she’ll just bap my hand rapid fire and then go nyoom straight in for my pizza like no Kelly that’s illegal go finish ur own dinner
“No Kelly, that’s illegal.”
So, a while back, I was using clicker-training to teach my cat Taz tricks. She learned very quickly and it was a good experience all around, but we had to hide the clicker.
Taz had learned that the clicker meant she got treats. So she would find it, carry it up to people, step on it to make it click, and then SCREAM AT THEM to give her the treats she was clearly owed because the clicker had made a sound.
Cats
Pavlov is rolling over laughing in his grave.
(via chefpyro)
The life of the hero… art by Zac Gorman
(via chefpyro)
you know how taako is a dick at the start of the podcast, like more than usual, back before he starts really caring about the people around him?
i headcanon that a reason why he’s so pissed at lucretia, other than the obvious, is bc she made him be alone, truly alone, for the first time in his life, and taako got to learn what he’s like when he doesn’t have people to lean on.
bc he always had lup, even when he had no one else he always had lup, and when they joined the starblaster he had a solid group of people for a hundred years. whenever he got dangerously towards the neutral side of neutral good there was someone to pull him back.
but then lucretia takes those memories, and suddenly all taako has, all he ever had, is himself. he does what he has to and he closes himself off more than he ever had when he had lup or the starblaster crew. taako becomes a version of himself who’s only ever had himself to rely on.
and even when his memories come back and he’s whole again, he still knows what he became when he was alone with no one to lean on or pull him back, and he doesn’t like that person. i think taako believes that’s what he’s like, deep down, and he hates it, and now he’s stuck with that knowledge forever.
This is something I’ve thought for a while.
Taako’s a pragmatist, a realist, he’s always been that way even when he had Lup. He’s more than willing to do the hard arithmetic, destroy the crystal to keep it from the Hunger or watch the Grand Relics slowly destroy Faerun knowing it’s preferable to the alternative. That’s who he is.
It’s just that without Lup, he’s more of that person. That person never had any checks or balances on their selfishness. That person never knew the stalwart love of a sibling who was always there for them. That person believed they grew up alone, that the world was harsh and cruel and held no mercy, that you had to be as harsh, as cruel, in order to simply survive.
(It’s part of why I think the idea that Taako wasn’t in complete, dominant control in his relationship with Sazed is crazy. Taako with Lup, maybe. Taako without Lup? Not a chance. He exploited that poor sap for all he was worth. But because Taako’s not as clever as he thinks he is, he didn’t see how that would end.)
Taako with Lup almost certainly wouldn’t like Taako without Lup. And vice versa, which is almost worse.
lup is 80% of taakos impulse control
(Source: goingforwards, via irailleth-archive)
Anonymous asked: Taako: *notices a circumstance or situation he’s unsure of* real or not real? Lup: real
It’s like a game except for all the ways it’s not.
“Real or not real?” Taako will say. “That time I got slapped for stealing some gold from the lockbox, when we were traveling with the assholes with the carts, whats their names?”
“Not real,” Lup will say. “That was the Martins. I distracted ‘em while you stole the loot. We bought new shoes and you got the weirdest hat.”
“Fuck you!” Taako will say. “That hat was great. It was flipping fantastic.”
She’s kind enough not to poke at the holes in his memory, the places where fact gets mixed up with fiction, the way he’ll allude to things that never happened. It’s his whole life that’s wrong. He knows that. He remembers parallel tracks. He’s different now, he knows.
“Real or not real? I like black coffee.”
“Not real. Maybe you acquired the taste? I always stole sugar packets and creamer, while you grabbed the coffee and booked it.”
“Real or not real? I got kicked out of school, twice.”
“Real. I got kicked out of school in solidarity, babe.”
“Real or not real? The first thing I remember is waking up, and no one was there.”
“Not real. We shared a bed when we were kids.”
“Oh.”
i cant stop thinking about the taaco twin antics that YOU KNOW went on in the starblaster
like imagine people mixing them up and taako and lup going out of their way to mess with people. Like dressing in identical outfits and constantly switching places without being noticed and being all shocked like “Wait Magnus, did you just call me Lup? I’m Taako- are you going senile?” then like a minute later they do some evocation magic and everyones surprised “yeah? fire is like- my thing? Are you feeling okay Merle?” etc etc
and one day theyre in a room with barry and barry leaves for a minute and they use magic to swap outfits and they quickly swap seats (and high-five as they pass each other)
then barry walks in and its all they can do to not burst out laughing and barrys like “hey guys why did you switch outfits?” and taako falls out of his fucking chair
consider lup wants a vacation day from reaping so she swaps one day with taako. taako tries his hardest to not flirt with kravitz but the jig is up like halfway through fighting a necromancer
(via irailleth-archive)
On to new worlds, to new stories, new adventures. You’re going to be amazing!!!
(Source: galacticjonah, via irailleth-archive)
