Dm: ok so what do you do with this slime
Bard: Ok let’s take him to-
me: woah woah woah. Did you just assume it’s male?
Dm: Let’s just say it’s non binary
me: Or we can say its…. gender fluid
Dm: I’ll make sure it kills you first
(via yourplayersaidwhat)
catholic school speedrun
during the first liturgy if you slap the communion wine out of the priests hands and collapse at his feet hollering in tongues you can clip right through the floor and go straight to hell
funny story when my dad was in catholic school the teacher said “the only true swear word is the lord’s name in vain” and my dad replied “so does that mean you can say ass” so he got whipped with a ruler
fun fact, saying the lords name in vain isnt saying “goddammit” its actually using the bible to perpetuate bigotry
(via newbarrk)
[video]
To the customers who apologize repeatedly for “bothering” me, or offer to clean up their own spill if I just get them some paper towels, or walk all the way around an aisle so as not to disturb me when I’m blocking their path, I just want to reassure you that you are NOT the annoying customer we complain about in retail. You are very kind and you clearly respect me and my time and I appreciate you. Also I am happy to help you with whatever you need and it is not at all a bother.
To the customer who shouted “EGGS?” at me from twenty feet away because apparently it was just too much trouble to come a few steps closer and use a complete sentence like “where are the eggs, please?”: fuck you.
(via newbarrk)
[video]
Say what you will about Undertale, but “I can’t go to hell. I’m all out of vacation days” is a powerful statement to say to a child holding you at knifepoint.
(via newbarrk)
someone should inform them that their propaganda doesnt work and also military is completely useless in videogames and oftentimes a n obstacle
(via tamascotchi-deactivated20190101)
Here we go, all the redesigns of the rest of the mane six I’ll be using for this blog. Sorry it took so long to get this done but I hope you guys like it ^u^. (Also bonus points to whoever can correctly guess which characters four of the girls based their chokers on)
“Does dying count as a long rest?”
(via yourplayersaidwhat)
