Silver Tongue

Aug 04

froody:

turtlepond:

froody:

froody:

my friend called me on the phone from the library to tell me he’d been chased by a mountain lion and he thought he might have vomited up blood and I was in the middle of scrubbing my car and having a heat stroke god my life keeps getting fucking weirder

mind you this is my friend who is the total chronic disaster who got into that knife fight in the middle school parking lot so I’m used to giving him shitty advice but this summer since I don’t talk on the phone he texts me every other day with some new terrible strange twist that has happened in his life like “my girlfriend almost got kidnapped” “there are three centipedes in my bed!” “I almost got mugged again” like normally I would just go help him but I’m 4 hours away now and it’s like he forgets GXHRVGSHFV

your friend is a protagonist

this I’m aware of I’m his sidekick and the epitome of the nerd best friend archetype but still it is my civic duty to complain

shit you gotta be careful then because youre gonna die just before the third act

(via nofacednerd)

Potted plants

yourplayersaidwhat:

(Context: our dm has a bit of a thing for making really obvious mimics out of plants.)

Me, a tiefling duel wielder: Not the f$&@ing plant again!

Our other fighter: I cast a trap on the plant.

Our dm: The plant is knocked away…AS THE PEDESTAL ATTACKS VAHL(my characters name)!!!!!

(Collectively): OH GODDAMMIT!!!!

(via yourplayersaidwhat)

banishedquasiroyal:

listen if your support of trans people being trans is conditional to whether or not theyre nice to you, youre a transphobe

BIG FUCKING MOOD

(via banishedquasiroyal-deact)

cosmictuesdays:

nadiacreek:

coelasquid:

deformutilated:

Fudge recipe on a headstone

I feel like I should make this just to be able to say a dead person taught me how to make it. Maybe I’ll do it for Halloween.

I desperately hope that she spent her entire life telling people that they could have her fudge recipe “over my dead body.”

That last comment is absolutely worth reblogging.

(via mbulteau)

picsthatmakeyougohmm:

hmmm

(via mbulteau)

(via gearholder)

You all fail to realize that humanizations of sans and papyrus already exist :

danceswithunworldly:

space-age-babe:

this physically stripped 5 years of my life away and i want it back

(via )

timeforlupsopinion:

Kravitz, half awake in the middle of the night, in a cockney accent: it’s getting better

Taako: what happened to your accent

Kravitz, in a posh accent: sorry, it’s getting better 

Taako: ???? why are you british now lmao

Kravitz: what is he normally?

Taako: he??????????? you’re you???

Kravitz, in a normal voice: ugh, me

-

Taako, later, to the Raven Queen: hey boss is my boyfriend fuckin HAUNTED? 

(via moonpaw)

one-for-all-plus-ultra:

so i was looking up antique cars like ya do and i found the dodge deora line of cars which looks like this

and i noticed there wasn’t any visible doors so i looked further and just

what the fuck is this nonsense

(via )

powermove; call baseball caps and snapbacks bonnets