Silver Tongue

May 31

wholesomethanos:

buttercream-gang:

tumblrrr:

sponges-do-dishes-at-midnight:

tumblrrr:

elergythefox237:

tumblrrr:

starlinginthesky:

tumblrrr:

winter-treats:

angel-withheart:

tumblrrr:

yunglupeonthetrack:

tumblrrr:

Good morning, Who are we cancelling today?

My 9 to 5

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Reblogging for good luck

thx thanos

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Originally posted by medusalily

When I’m done half of your debt will exist.. perfectly balanced.. as all things should be.

Why don’t you take care of all of it you purple bitch

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Originally posted by hedgehog-goulash7

Reblog the money thanos to pay off half of your debts and make life easier

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Don’t even trip.. I'ma take those off ya hands for you.

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Reblogging to reduce gas prices by half

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That is well over half

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(via the-steve-vrc)

thespectacularspider-girl:
“ keyhollow:
“It would uh, be a 180 I think
”
Not if she beats you fast enough.
”

thespectacularspider-girl:

keyhollow:

It would uh, be a 180 I think

Not if she beats you fast enough.

(Source: memescomedy.com, via deep-sea-prince)

snowdarkred:

snowdarkred:

so, uh

did anyone tell steve after he woke up from the ice that cigarettes cause cancer??

like 

did that make the list of things they told him about or was it relegated to the list of things they didn’t bother with, like the fucking moon landing

steve rogers after the battle of new york: well that was stressful, anyone got a smoke i can bum?

everyone who grew up with anti-smoking PSAs: uh, you know those things can give you asthma, right?

steve rogers, asthmatic who was prescribed cigarettes by a doctor in the 40s: what

(via deep-sea-prince)

[video]

adurot:

thebestkindofmad:

frogparty:

frogparty:

i really cant get over how in episode two of fmab they like straight up just show us that ed basically met the closest being-like thing to god and then. then in literally the next episode hes like. yeah. yeah im an atheist

truth to ed in fmab ep2: i am what you call the world, or perhaps the universe, or perhaps god, or perhaps truth, or perhaps all, or perhaps one, and i am also you.

ed in fmab ep3:

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Ed decided that God was a lil bitch and he just wasn’t going to endorse that.

Met god. Wasn’t impressed.

(via adurot)

speciesofleastconcern:

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(via gearholder)

May 30

[video]

[video]

mhalachai:
“ Pros: you can grow a new ankle
Cons: It isn’t your ankle
”
to be fair, babies ARENT fully formed when they come out. Thats why they have a soft spot and fragile bones and cant even walk.

mhalachai:

Pros: you can grow a new ankle

Cons: It isn’t your ankle

to be fair, babies ARENT fully formed when they come out. Thats why they have a soft spot and fragile bones and cant even walk.

(via robustquestioner-deactivated202)

toast-potent:

captainsnoop:

i’ll never understand why we don’t call countries the names they actually call themselves 

like, i know this is a weeaboo-sounding example, but let’s start with Japan. They call themselves Nippon or Nihon depending on… i guess, the speaker’s accent??? or their level of formality while speaking??? I dunno. But we still called them Zipangu for like a few hundred years. And now we call them Japan. 

All because Marco Polo asked someone in China about that island over there and they said “oh that’s Cipangu” and Marco Polo was like “Oh, Zipangu, cool.” And then he went back to Italy and said “Y’ALL THERE’S THIS DOPE-ASS ISLAND CALLED ZIPANGU” and people back in Italy were like “An island called Giappone? Dope.” 

And this pattern of people mishearing people kept repeating until we got to “Japan.” 

And we still call them Japan even though we know better. Because fuck you, Marco Polo asked the wrong person 500 years ago and misheard them and we’re sticking to that, I guess. 

that was literally just the world’s worst game of telephone

(via robustquestioner-deactivated202)