my fav trope is like, nonhuman characters not understanding human needs/customs but still being super supportive of their human companion
“look what I found while exploring this planet’s surface!” “kilrak please I’m trying to sleep” “ah yes your human circadian rhythm. *stage whispering* I am supposed to be quiet during this time in your rhythm, yes?”
“the book I purchased on ragnok V says humans require physical touch when upset. therefore, I shall engage in a ‘hug’ with you.” *supremely awkward five-armed hug ensues*
*human sneezes* “OH MY GOD SIL'EEN GET THE MEDIC OUR HUMAN IS DYING”
“this pamphlet I received recently says that humans require companions and packmates in the form of small earth creatures. you should have told me this before we departed earth, but it is no worry. we will have to stop at the next trade planet to get you one of these ‘cats’ or ‘dogs’.”
imagine the aliens really purchasing a kitten for one of their rough and world-weary scifi badass human companions and watching in helpless wonderment what ensues
“she’s been cuddling that small animal for the past fifteen minutes just going ‘kitty, kitty’. did we - did we break our human?”
a more seasoned alien puts one of their tentacles around the younger one as the rest of the team gathers to watch their human make kissy noises.
“no, kilrak,” the alien says. “we did good.”
“Human-Steve! I have heard that today is the anniversary of your hatching! According to my human culture pamphlet, it is customary to set a sugary pastry on fire while chanting your species’ growth incantation and presenting sacrifices wrapped in shiny paper. I am afraid to ask, in case this ritual is sacred and this request therefor insensitive… but may I be allowed to participate? It sounds much more fascinating than molting.”
“Human Steve, I have read about your ritual dance called ‘The Hokey Pokey,’ performed mostly at mate-bonding celebrations after the guests reach an elevated level of intoxication. But Human Steve, how do I know WHICH left foot to put in, put out, and shake all about? I do not… Human Steve, why are you laughing?”
“Human-Steve, you are… you are eating, but it is not one of your ritual fueling times. Are you dying? Is everything alright? Have you not been receiving enough sustenance? Do I need to get you better things to eat? Human-Steve, why are you trying to hide that food?”
“Human-Steve, my research has informed me of a grave oversight in your care that I, as your companion, have made! Thus, I have gathered collections of fictional human literature to read aloud at the time of your bed. Which is more to your liking: “The Care and Keeping of Cacti” or “1001 Crossword Puzzles?” Human-Steve? Human-Steve, I am serious.“
One of the things I love the most about this post is how “Human-Steve” makes me think that there is also an alien called Steve in the squad, and I just imagine the first meeting and introduction where there is the human guy introducing himself as Steve and then there is this huge blue guy with like 5 legs and bug eyes and apparently Steve is like a completely regular name on his planet too in some intergalactical coincidence
that was off topic sorry.
that was the best possible tangent, thank you for this addition
foreign accent syndrome is a thing and its so fucked up
imagine growing up in central kentucky living on a dairy farm all your life never leaving the state and sounding like foghorn leghorn and one day a cow knocks your head the right way and suddenly youre speaking the queens english and theres nothing you can do about it
one of my favorite threats is “youre not invited to my birthday party anymore”.
from ages 4 to 11 its one of the most heinous things you can say, then 12 through 17 its just embarassing cuz teenz think that thats a childish thing to say, but from 18 onward, it only gets more and more effective, if only because it confuses the person youre speaking to.
its like a verbal smoke bomb. it catches them off guard and disorients them to the point that they might not even know how to react.
I was joining random dating sites and i came across one called “Top Tier” which was apparently only for very rich people with high IQs. Only, there was no vetting process so i figured it was just for pompous assholes who thought they were top tier.
I signed up to see what it was like. The color scheme of the site was yellow on black. You had to select one of three options indicating if you were single or not. I don’t remember what the first two were, but the third one was, “you can go to hell,” which meant that for whichever reason, you weren’t interested in anyone. If you chose this option you couldn’t even search the site, so I backed up and chose a different option.
I found Uma Thurman on the site and jokingly sent her a date request, but she actually accepted and now I had a date with her set for tomorrow evening. I was in a panic because I didn’t want to date Uma Thurman. In the dream, she was known for being mean. I was still stressing about how I was gonna break this date, when I woke up.
again, I really need to read the usernames on this fucking site
If you request, please specify what kind of sprite or icon you would like! i am more than willing to make characters, headcanons, OCs, fantrolls/kids, shipping content etc. I will not do nsfw and some requests i may reject (such as gross age difference ships or possibly controversial hcs)
