Silver Tongue

May 21

Literally every episode of My Cat from Hell

impuretale:

sinningsleepingandshitposting:

flotorshi:

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Neatly summarized as: people not knowing how to properly take care of cats

The episodes that don’t conform to this formula are also always the most interesting. These situations include:

1) I Didn’t Know My Cat Had PTSD and Has Gone Blind.

2) Your Cats Fight Because One of Them Doesn’t Know How to Speak Cat, and They’re Both Kinda Mad/Confused About It. 

3) Your Cat Sprays Everywhere? Get Them Fixed. Surprise Twist: They Were Fixed But It Was a Botched Operation.

4) We’re Going to Rescue 50+ Kittens, Take Them to Vegas, and Adopt Them All To Loving Homes.

5) This is Not a Cat. This is a Dog. 

(via dan-mcneely-deactivated20210328)

wordswithkittywitch:

Maybe I’m biased because I make my own clothes, but skirts are better than trousers because you can put bigger pockets in skirts. With trousers, you’re limited to the size of your leg but with skirts you can just fill it up and people will just assume you’re wearing a petticoat until they hear the crunch of the Dorito bags.

Just once I’d like the see an historical heroine be asked if it bothers her that she has to wear skirts and have say, “Not really. I couldn’t fit this in a waistcoat.” and just pull out a loaf of bread or something and start eating it right in front of the baffled male lead.

It would work great in the 1700s with those removable pockets, you could fit a couple of Italian loaves in there.

(via chess-and-snickers-deactivated2)

pesky-plumbers:

oncelers-husband:

pesky-plumbers:

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please don’t do this to me right now nintendo

c’mon, how bad can it possibly be?

i hate both your url and your comment please never contact me again

(via rosexknight)

ebenrose:
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ebenrose:

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(via jadewares)

[video]

8hy:

sorry i can’t relate to mean people. i can understand not being openly friendly but how can you go out of your way to actively be so mean….on purpose….for fun….aren’t u exhausted …

(via aeritus)

ebenrose:
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ebenrose:

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(via jadewares)

dreamofhircine:

invokingbees:

I’ve just been informed about the Hand of St. Teresa

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aka the Catholic Infinity Gauntlet

T

ERESA

(via demilypyro)

(via demilypyro)

lullabyknell:

I kinda like to imagine what it would be like if it just… did not occur to Loki that Hela was gonna be genuinely evil about taking over Asgard. Anywhere else, sure, fine, he doesn’t care, but that’s not what you do with Asgard. 

(Of course, on one hand, it absolutely did occur to him, he’s cowardly in many ways but not ignorant. On the other hand, following this thought thread for the pure amusement of it, Hela basically seemed to be the sincerely evil conqueror this chaotic neutral dandy been trying to be for the past few years but better, he would absolutely throw a fit and not think about it.) 

Like, Loki landed on trash planet and was like, “Welp, I have been sorely, embarrassingly outmatched by a sibling I never knew I had, who is me but better at it. I live here in this trash heap now. I’m going to become the kept floozy of a madman until I murder him and also get smashed at 8 am for the rest of my millennia-long life while wallowing in my misery.” 

Then Thor shows up and is like, “Loki, get your ass out of someone else’s bed, we need to go back and save Asgard from our villainous sister.” 

Loki’s desperately like, “Uh no, you embarrassed me in front of everyone? I would kill everyone in this room and then myself before I ever went back to Asgard now. Go away. I’m plotting to rule this trash heap, where I now live.” 

And Thor replies, “It suits you perfectly. One problem. Our ‘villainous’ sister’s usurpation of the throne involves actually killing our people. She didn’t take over Asgard just to build great golden statues of herself, flirt with the entire court, eat grapes languidly, drink of all Dad’s good booze, and watch glorifying plays about herself while wearing Dad’s fanciest bathrobes. She’s not like you. She’s actually killing our people.” 

And Loki’s just… completely flabbergasted, despite the fact that Hela’s first action was to make a very good go at trying to kill them both (completely normal thing to do in the Asgardian royal family, really). 

Loki: “…She’s what?” 

(via thescyfychannel)