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Here it is: how I got Horrible Histories banned from my school.
Sit down, I’m going to tell you a story.
Imagine a little girl, a 4’9” fifth grader with dimples and twinkling blue eyes. Oh, look, she’s going to the school library. Perhaps she’s going to rent Little Women, or read On the Banks of Plum Creek by Laura Ingalls Wilder!
Five minutes later, she exits the library holding a large stack of books called “Horrible Histories.”
And she’s thumbing through one called “Angry Aztecs.”
Record scratch. Freeze frame.
Yup, that’s me! The only history geek in a fifty mile radius. Living in Bumhicksville, Nowhere (name changed, but very accurate) is pretty terrible, and going to school at Caucasian Christian School of Goodness (again, a name change, but an apt description) is even worse. I snapped a bit while I was attending, due to the lack of permissible self-expression, but horrible histories were my guiding light.
Flash forward six months.
Our teacher wants us to do a history project about an ancient civilization. Since our curriculum is Eurocentricism.JPEG, most kids pick the Greeks or Romans (and completely skip over all of the good stuff, like orgies and gladiator fights) in their presentations.
I choose my favorite ancient civilization:
The Aztecs.
My teachers knew I’d been reading Horrible Histories, but what they didn’t know was that I’d also been avidly reading all about Aztec mythology. I walk up to the front of the class, pull on a turquoise skull mask, and raise my arms to the sky.
My teacher goes sheet white.
I give my presentation and skip nothing. Nothing. Every detail of the sacrifices, every dirty, disgusting part.
It all culminates when I point to the calendar.
“It’s May!” I shout, my little girl voice rising an octave. My teacher looks like she’s about to phone the police. “The Aztecs called May Toxcatl.”
No one moves or breathed. I continue blithely.
“Toxcatl was a month dedicated to the worship of the god of the night, Tezcatlipoca.” I’m still going. Everyone is afraid. Marie, one of my classmates, looks like she’s about to cry.
“They’d dress a brave warrior as the god all year, and at the end-“ I pull the red streamers out from behind my display, shouting: “They’d sacrifice him!”
The kids shriek as the streamers of “blood” roll out across the floor.
The principal walked in, hearing the commotion, just in time for me to really get into character and shout “BLOOD FOR THE GOD OF THE NIGHT!”
And that’s how Horrible Histories and all mentions of the Aztecs were banned from my school.
this is like the opening of a children’s movie about a girl who was reprimanded for over-creativity / morbid obsessions, and i love it
(via newbarrk)
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Meanwhile, on Emerald Dream
(via demilypyro)
this is the reddit version of that cop who broke down crying when a teenage girl said something about homestuck to him
(via tamascotchi-deactivated20190101)
i mean there’s only three pages
THIS JOKE IS HURTING ME
OH GOD.
I think you mean 2 and a half
no
(via newbarrk)
Okay so here’s the thing. I love dogs. Dogs are amazing wonderful creatures. But we have to stop acting like dogs are perfect, or safe to be around every one and every thing.
I just watched a gif of a man walking his dog when they came upon kittens. The dog immediately lunged - only to have the mother cat barrel in and scare the dog off. I was furious, because the owner sat and watched as his dog lunged at a kitten - and had to be beaten off of it by its mother.
In the comments people were discussing it, saying “That dog just wanted to play! He wasn’t going to actually *hurt* the kitten!”
And I’d really like us to stop this.
“He just wants to say hi,”
“he’s just trying to play”
are two phrases commonly said by people who do not understand their dogs behavior, and make excuses for them.
That dog did not want to play. When dogs want to play, they change their body language and start using different behavior - most obviously the play bow. They sniff first, and get introductions out of the way. If your dog lunges for something the moment they set its eyes on it - they do not want to play. Just imagine, if you were a kid who had never met someone before and they just straight up attacked you. That would be different from someone walking up and saying “hey, do you wanna play/wrestle?”
And here’s the thing. There’s nothing wrong with that dog, it just should not be allowed around animals smaller than it. Cats, hamsters, rabbits, hedgehogs, even toy breeds of dogs, I wouldn’t consider safe. And thats OK! You can have a perfectly happy life with your dog never harming any animals as long as you know this and make sure to pay attention. But if that dog harms a kitten or other small animal, I blame the owner, who should have known better.
We have to be responsible owners and know our dogs. And as people, we need to stop making excuses for other animals and instead do our best to make sure everyone in the situation is safe, not just the dog who “just wants to play” or “was just trying to say hi”, while barreling straight for something.
Just because you love your dog doesn’t mean its not aggressive in specific situations. Doesn’t mean its safe for all to be around. Doesn’t mean its incapable of fault.
(via newbarrk)
