Justin: Stop. Stop. This needs to be addressed. My first thought was the tunnel of love, right? Okay, but stop for a second and think.
Griffin: Oh my god - holy shit Justin! You’re right!
Justin: Seriously though. Media has perpetrated a lot of lies on us growing up as kids, especially like, old cartoons. I’ve never, in my entire adult life - I’ve traveled all across this great land of ours, I’ve never, ever, ever seen a tunnel of love. I’ve seen a fake Mario Brothers castle that kids could run around in and fall and die. Like, I’ve seen a spaceship that spins around so fast that you stick to the walls. I’ve never seen a tunnel of love in my entire life.
Griffin: Because essentially what a tunnel of love is, is a timed hand-job challenge. Are you tough enough?
Justin: Can you jack it?
Griffin: You have 118 seconds, go! Uh-oh, look up ahead. Do you hear the clown music? You better hurry! You better hurry and finish to the clown music!
It was supposed to be a classical adventure story. Villain threatens everyone‘s safety, hero swoops in and, after some obstacles, saves the day.
Except you, the narrator, begin to suspect the hero actually has no idea what they’re doing. They seem to be a bit of a bragging idiot who cares more about the fame than about doing good. You begin to understand the villain‘s motives…
Being a DM and writing your own campaigns is like buying your cats an elaborate cat condo and watching those dumb idiots spend 4 days in the box it came in eating packing peanuts
