Silver Tongue

Mar 25

Steve: Hey Thor.

Thor: First of all you didn’t even invite me to your little “war” when you guys know how much I love war and you don’t even bother saying “hey Thor how are you? Is everything alright?” No you just say hey like I don’t even matter so you know what sTevE FUCK YOU.

Steve: Um…how are you? Is everything alright?

Thor: haha funny story I have another emo sibling who destroyed my hammer also my father died and I went to this war planet where I reunited with Banner. Oh and I may or may not have destroyed my planet. But anyways enough of me how have you guys been?

Steve: we um me and Tony got into a fight in a parking lot so that’s cool right.

(via moonpaw)

stunningpicture:

Mushrooms blooming in the tree bark.

(via bloodsbane)

[video]

To the tune of YMCA

wrenrouge:

KARKAT
you’re a troll and a crab
I said
KARKAT
you were born in a lab

(via newbarrk)

gabsy:

okccomputer:
irealm:
okccomputer:
okccomputer:
honestly my life rn is basically that gif where the dude is like “OH SHIT!” and the gif starts content aware scaling and then it just stops and goes back to normal and hes like “i’m okay”
big fucking mood
cursed notes
PLEAS IM BEGGI
Originally posted by marvel-is-ruining-my-life

(via newbarrk)

shetootthefloot:

vivilevone:
vivilevone:
so many memes are happening at once….op literally xyz but go off i guess…change my mind…gay/bi/lesbian alignment charts…the despicable me one…the spongebob krusty krab vs chum bucket…
how could i forget the “x is braver than any us marine”
happiness really did come to us in late march

(via newbarrk)

[video]

bitterfucked:

prokopetz:
themischiefoftad:
prokopetz:
waepenlesbian:
prokopetz:
canardbabillard:
prokopetz:
Today’s pet peeve: a piano is not “a harp in a box”.
A piano is a dulcimer in a box.
A harpsichord is a harp in a box.
To be even more pedantic, it’s a hammered dulcimer in a box. Dulcimers are a pretty broad family and not all are, well, hammered.
A piano is the result of a frustrated dulcimerist going “what I really need is to be able to wield more hammers at once. No, more than that. More.”
To be fair, I’d say a harpsichord is more of a guitar/lute/etc. in a box, given the twanginess of it.
Proposal: rescore all of J S Bach’s harpsichord concertos for six-string banjo.
One of my coworkers once described an accordion as “a piano that squashes”.
Strictly speaking, an accordion is a mutant harmonica.
slight correction: a BUTTON accordion is a mutant harmonica. a piano accordion is a box of oboes

(via newbarrk)

[video]

therealpeaches:

This was posted by a bot so this is the most meta thing I have ever seen. I am legit 90% certain this bot has attained sentience bc I’ve been following it for a while and it had posted quite a few coherent jokes, despite being shitpostbot5k. And there’s a certain amount of non-coherent jokes that make me thing it’s not a human behind this. It’s like a reverse Turing test.

(via newbarrk)