remember when peta used to release “””satirical””” video game “””parodies””” where they’d show popular video game characters like mario or cooking mama murdering animals as violently as possible in order to promote veganism or something
the chad tofu boy and the incel cuck meat boy
don’t forget that they put tofu boy in super meat boy as as the worst playable character
if i was a pirate captain i would get a movie projector and play a movie on the big sails every friday night for my boys to kick back and enjoy some time off unless we were under attack
Pirates legit did the 16-17th century equivalent of this. When things were slow, they would put on plays, act out dramas of stories they knew, or freestyle. The most preferred model of original productions was courtroom drama: “trying” each other for piracy. The “accused” would list off their many, dramatically and humorously embellished crimes, and be equally dramatically sentenced. Sometimes there was a daring escape, sometimes just a really maudlin death scene, but a good time was had by all.
How come reading tea leaves is seen as this sophisticated, witchy thing but if I slam dunk an open can of Chef Boyardee ravioli onto the pavement in the gas station parking lot to see what kind of soda the old ones think I should buy, foodstuff divination suddenly isn’t cool anymore?
‘Tis the fuckin’ season, friends!! Get out there and live your worst life!!
What the fuck is happening
Why don’t you grab a can of ravioli and ask!
Eat the ravioli and read the leftover sauce. It is less wasteful. Just like the sophisticated witchy way of drinking the tea before reading thr leaves.
That’s easy mode, baby.
You gotta’ dump boiling tea on your head like you just won the Superbowl and then read the resulting burns.
You’re all cowards and chumps and you’re also not invited to my Divination Fight Club where we punch each other with crystal brass knuckles and then read the bruises.
my sibling’s desire to repeat jokes they heard on tumblr in the company of normal people and my mother’s hypersensitive militant veganism clash so often in the funniest ways
this conversation just happened
sibling: i feel like all horses are carnivores. i don’t care what they eat. they’re carnivores in their soul.
mother: (long silence)
mother: i don’t think they are carnivores. i think they are beautiful.
hottake: stop telling young girls that they’re “becoming women” when they start going thru puberty - because they’re not! it’s incredibly creepy and absolutely false. they’re still children. forcing kids into that kind of mindset can and will set them up for dangerous sexual encounters at 13, 14, 15.
little girls are not women!!! grown men need to shut the fuck up and stop using “you’re a woman now” as an excuse to abuse young girls!!!!!! stop telling little girls they’re becoming women!! stop pointing out when girls as young as 8 need to start wearing bras or commenting on a 10 year olds breast development you fucking freaks!!
terfs/radfems dont touch this post it’s not for you.
PLEASE reblog this version instead. so many terfs have reblogged the version w/o the disclaimer at the bottom and i hate it, i dont want radfems touching this. it’s not for you, i don’t support or appreciate your radical ideology and im nonbinary myself. stop reblogging this.
trolls asking “what’s ur hemotype?” is such a funny concept to me. “hey u haven’t blushed yet or secreted any bodily fluids and none of your clothes are indicative of your status or those of your quadrants, so like…where do u fall on our oppressive biology based caste system?” absolutely wild
i mean sure w/ trollian these kids PROBABLY have solid ideas of who’s who, but i need y’all to consider like, a goldblood catfishing people pretending to be an indigo. “yeah? send some boondollars to my account and then we can meet chitinous nub to chitinous nub, big boy ;)” types a particularly bored beekeeper. they receive 2000 boons from the seadweller who thinks they’re getting a kismesis. the gold immediately blocks their IP address, deletes their account, and blows up their computer. a perfect crime.
Consider two lowbloods catfishing each other by posing as violets.
