hey so protip if you have abusive parents and need to get around the house as quietly as possible, stay close to furniture and other heavy stuff because the floor is settled there and it’s less likely to creak
socks are quieter than bare feet on tile/wood and for the love of god don’t wear slippers/shoes if you can help it
climbing ON the furniture will disrupt the pattern of your footsteps and make it harder to hear where you are in the house
crawling will do the same and if you get caught crawling you can pretend you fell
the floor near the wall can be really loud if the floorboards/carpet is old and not completely flush to the wall
do NOT attempt to use a rolling chair to travel without footsteps. they are extremely loud and hard to steer
Also. Breath with your mouth and not your nose. Your nose will whistle. Trust me. If you need to get into your fridge, jab your finger into the rubber part that seals the door closed and create a tiny airway. This will prevent the suction noise when you open the door. When drinking liquids (juice mostly), pour out your glass (or chug from the jug) and replace what you drank with water. If it was full enough in the beginning, no one will notice. DO NOT STEAL ALCOHOL. THEY WILL NOTICE IF IT’S WATERED DOWN. Bring a pillowcase for dried foods like cereal and granola. It helps to muffle the sound it makes when it pours.
If your house has snack packs (like gummy bears or crackers or chips), count them every day until you know the rhythm that they get consumed. (This took me a week and a half with my twin brother and sister). Then join the rhythm when you make your nightly visits. It will be that much harder to figure out it was you.
KEEP A TRASH BAG UNDER YOUR BED FOR WRAPPERS AND STUFF BUT DONT FORGET TO THROW IT OUT WHENEVER YOU CAN. BUGS YKNOW. Hope this helped.
The floor near the wall may creak on a regular floor but not on the stairs. If you need to walk up and down stairs, walk as close to the edge of the stair near the wall/railing as possible
Are there really parents who deny their kids food…?
There’s a book about “how to train your kid” or something like that which even recommends denying food as a way of punishment
What the fuck??? This is literally denying your kid basic human rights. How can parents be so cruel?
The world is a fucked up place
I hope none of my followers need these tips, but here they are. It’s a fucked up world and you might as well know some tricks.
A 5,000-year-old tree in Scotland is
giving itself a sex change. The male
Fortingall Yew has been producing
pollen for as long as scientists have
been studying it, but in 2015, the tree
suddenly sprouted berries in a rare
occurrence that means at least part of
the tree is now transitioning to female. SourceSource 2Source 3
I support trans grandma tree
Bigots: transgender people are unnatural!
Trans Tree: what u just say
nature @ transphobic assholes: fuck you bitches
Nature has no time for foolish human prejudice
if a 5000 year old tree can transition, its never too late for anyone to.
I know who we all REALLY want to see in Disney’s live action reboots.
Did I ever tell you guys how I actually semi-officially changed the canon of this movie
Oh?
Yeah I got one of the lead writers to make something canon with help from my roommate and his dad.
give us the deets
Ok so this all started with a fan theory I read on Reddit. Basically the theory was that since the only animals in the movie that are shown to be capable of speech used to be human, then any animal that can talk was at one point a human.
On Kuzco’s first night alone in the jungle, he sees a fly in a spiderweb. The fly screams “HELP ME” then gets eaten.
The theory was that that fly used to be human.
So my roommate really liked that theory and said “hey my dad is actually friends with the guy who wrote Emperor’s New Groove, he can ask him to confirm that theory for us.” (I’m not naming names here I don’t wanna get sued)
So a couple days later we get screenshots of my roommate’s dad’s email asking about the theory and the lead writer’s response:
“The fly is… Kuzco’s late father.”
My roommate’s dad: “is that canon?”
Writer: “It is now.”
So Kuzco’s dad was turned into an animal by Yzma, we assume, as part of her ploy to take the throne. It makes SENSE.
And that’s how I helped change the canon of a major Disney movie.
Are you telling me Kuzco watched his own father get eaten alive in front of him, without ever knowing who he was, years after presumably thinking his father was already dead?
