reblog and put the highest library late fee you’ve ever paid in the tags
Ok so the highest I have paid is $20 the highest I have is $5000 and still counting and I’m never going back to Louisiana again.
There’s gotta be a good story behind that $5000 fine
Ok kiddo’s sit the heckety down and hold onto your hats and broomsticks. The year is 2006. The setting, hick-fuckville Louisiana. I am but a humble child sitting in my local library reading all of the books that my school library banned, but they kept in the local library to show adults, so that way they can “warn them, becouse if your child is reading these books they are possessed by Satan.” This is the place where I got my first copy of Anne Rice’s “Interview with the Vampire” which had all if my favorite things, a male/male relationship, vampires, the Victorian age, and best of all half of it takes place in Fuck-hickville Louisiana (not to be confused with Hick-Fuckville, Louisiana). I have by me all of the books on the “don’t let your child read this or they will become a sodomite” list. I am fucking having a blast, when guess who walks the flip flopity right up to me. That’s right. Pastor AssFuck McGee. And he goes “child, these books are not for children.” To which I reply by saying nothing, picking up each book and checking them out. I walk out if the library, and I decide. Fuck you pastor AssFuck McGee. I am gonna read all if these books. 1 month later, my parents decide it’s time to move, again. I’m chill with this. I hate this town. I hate this state. And I hate Paster AssFuck McGee and I don’t even go to his church, but Kasey who sits by me during lunch does and she says that he’s a “bleepity bleeping dumb slut” and I don’t know how Kasey knows that Pastor AssFuck McGee is a slut, but I trust her opinion on it, and while I normally don’t shame people for their sex lives I was willing to make an exception just for Pastor AssFuck McGee. However, if we move I have to return my library books. But I can’t. I haven’t finished reading all fucking 23 books, 2 magazines, and the informational pamphlet on birth control. So I decided I hated Pastor AssFuck McGee and loved books more than I cared about the law. So I packed all of the library books up and move with them. I said fuck it. I’m gonna steal all of this. I was sure as fuck about to commit my first felony. We move to Arizona. I get enrolled into a new school - one day in the snazy new computer lab I boot up the computer, that terrible fucking dial up noise hurts my ears and I’m convinced God isn’t real, becouse if he was he wouldn’t allow for that God awful fucking noise. I sign on to my AOL. I have an email. It’s from the library in Louisiana. My books are late. I delete the email. I delete the email every week when they send it out. Fast forward too late 2016. I am feeling the nostalgic, I decide to log into my old AOL account I have been on it in over 5 years. I am stunned. I have an email. My books are late. I owe around $5000. I sighn out of my AOL. I never sighn back in. I go to bed that night and I whisper. “Fuck you Pastor AssFuck McGee.”
(Names in this story have been changed to protect individuals )
IM CRYIGN WHAT THE FUCK
(Source: goldenagc, via )
[video]
My precious rescue, Merribold.
(via bloodsbane)
@jaderoseweek day 2 -
quadrants/ polyshippingRose always invites Kanaya out with them on lunch dates.
(via comfiecore)
[video]
i just saw an ad about how the founding fathers wouldn’t foster safe spaces or trigger warnings and all i can think about is when john adams made it illegal to make fun of him
(Source: erectolobiform, via deep-sea-prince)
[video]
silver-tongues-blog asked: Because time is a trivial concept in a realm where the 4rth deminsion can be manipulated, it's possible that everyones ghost or ghost imprint could exist at all points simultaniously so everything would have an imprint on the ghost zone and ectoplasm would just give the energy for physical matter to interact similarly. So like, everyone is linked to the ghost zone, ectoplasm is just the way of opening that link
I’m only using a geometric fourth dimension, which isn’t related to time any more than our own 3D spacetime is. The most wild time and space distortion probably only happens to particles going a significant portion of the speed of light and whatever the 4D equivalent of a black hole is, not to matter as organized as an ecto-signature or brain. But then again, Clockwork manipulates time in the Danny Phantom universe so…. rubs temples…… ooooouuuugh
Related: I don’t plan to try and explain the reality altering/time control stuff in DP anytime soon because a lot of it is basically magic (even more so than the rest), which is a lot less interesting to me than the basic ghost powers and how they can be exploited.
yeah but what if like, everyone has an imprint in the ghost zone at all points because everyone dies eventually and ectoplasmic radiation is what allows them to temporarily swap with their ghosts as long as whatever is supplying the radiation knows how to do it.
me, extremely sleep deprived, feverishly researching spacetime distortion and literal rocket science for my fan projects: god i wonder what its like to write coffee shop AUs
why does “pee your pants” invoke such a stronger and more threatening emotion than your standard “suck my dick” comeback does
it’s nonsexual, it’s not involving the speaker. it’s just an incredible powerful command. pee your pants. lose continence.
what part of pants pissing is not sexual!!??
ex-fucking-cuse me?
(via dan-mcneely)