im gonna steal pluto and bring it back here so we can have two moons
What about Charon. Then we could have THREE moons for the price of one.
of course, we can’t separate pluto from its moons that would be tragic, we’ll have our moon and then plutomoon and then pluto’s moons will be plutomoon’s moons and everything will be great there’ll be so many rocks in the sky
thinkpiece: The Millenials have cultivated a nihilistic, absurdist brand of satirical humor as a response to a cultural environment where
the traditional social order has collapsed into chaos because of rapid technological advancement, economic downturn, and endless war (much like the dadaists after WWI)
sincere admissions of despair are seen as somewhere between embarrassing and obnoxious and the only acceptable way to express negative emotion is by disguising it in witty, share-able quips
violence, sex, and profanity have become commonplace in the media and the only remaining frontier of shock value is absolute nonsense like “while you were having premarital sex i was dehydrating tangerines.While You Wasted Your Days At The Gym In Pursuit Of Vanity I Was In Hospital With Scurvy”
i know you’ve all heard more than enough about this fyre festival thing but it is honestly Too Much and i am Obsessed With It
like a bunch of grown ass adults are on Great Exuma, which is the largest and most inhabited cay in the Bahaman district of Exuma. that’s where the capitol city of George Town is. it is by no means a deserted island or desolate wasteland. here’s their website in case you want to know more about this popular tourist locale.
these grown ass adults expected a luxury experience and got a regular camping experience. (all following info from this article) they got large tents which they could have easily shared with each other, but instead they fought over them and at least one person set their tent on fire because they hated it. their food was sub par but far from trash – one person complained that for breakfast they only got “Eggo waffles, cinnamon rolls and room temperature coffee.” here’s the George Town map on their website where you can find the variety of restaurants and grocery stores these dummies could have gone to for sustenance.
a lot of people have compared this hilarious shitshow to ‘Lord of the Flies,’ but that book was about a bunch of little boys during the Cold War crashing against their will on an actually deserted island and surviving for days, maybe even weeks without turning on each other. I won’t deny that the fyre festival people were scammed, but at the end of the day they are adults who paid to be on an inhabited island and only took hours to start looting and rioting.
i’ve seen a lot of people saying we shouldn’t make fun of this because these people are in ‘a terrible situation’ and like…. no they aren’t tho. they are in, at worst, an average situation, which they personally worsened with their greed and petulance.
anyway that’s all the info i have for now on why it’s totally okay to make fun of these idiots, have fun
it’s such a ridiculous fail on so many levels. like, these people were complaining about being next to a sandals. did it ever occur to them to head there and ask the local staff about food/accomodation/a taxi to george town? bahamians are ridiculously helpful and kind people.
let this sink in: these people went thirsty because they couldn’t hack walking a few feet to get water. they went hungry because they couldn’t figure out how to call a taxi. and they lost thousands of $$ because they couldn’t google “island owned by pablo escobar” in advance (it’s actually in Colombia).
also can we talk about the racist, classist double standards at work here? white people look at water protectors and black lives matter protestors and call them savages because of fucking TRASH CANS being destroyed in the fight against white supremacy and fascism, but then we express sympathy to rich white people acting like spoiled brats and ACTUALLY rioting and destroying property and livelihood over the fact that they didn’t get a luxury glamping experience like they felt they were entitled to.
HEATHER AND MIKE (MommyoFive and DaddyoFive) just lost custody of ALL THEIR CHILDREN
Cody and Emma, Mike’s kid’s, have been given back to their real mother
Alex, Ryan and Jake, Heather’s kids, are being reconsidered by a judge to live with their biological father and so far it looks like the real dad is going to get his sons back
