Anonymous asked: callout for magnus,, for mistaking me for a small dog the other day in the cafeteria - a concerned mousefolk (someone get that dude under control!!!)
A young traveller and his two companions had reached a great city. Stopped by guards, all three were taken to the city’s palace. The old king was a madman, but could see that the traveler was a true warrior.
“Throw them a feast!”, he ordered, and it was done.
While the traveller ate, the king looked down upon him, and concluded that he was indeed a hero above all others. To test him, however, the king would have to put him through three trials. When the traveller refused this, the king grew cross and took his companions captive until he complied.
First, the boy had to fetch a golden key from beneath a waterfall. The boy succeeded, but when he requested that the king to set his friends free, he refused.
The second task was to find the king’s hare. The boy, thinking this easy enough, found a small hare without any interference. Suddenly, a beast came into view, and charged at the boy, startling the hare and sending it off into a panicked sprint. They boy chased the hare until in escaped into a hole in the wall, and was left cornered by the charging beast. It was only then that the boy realized– the beast was a large hare itself! The giant hare’s manner instantly changed to that of a mild pet’s, and the boy returned it to the king.
“I am ready for the next challenge,” he announced.
For the third task, the king pointed to his right side, where stood a wicked looking man with an iron claw and a scythe, and then to his left, where stood a large warrior with an axe.
“Your final test is a duel,” explained the king. “You may choose your opponent.”
The boy looked from the metal armed man to the the giant, and made his decision.
“I choose you!” he declared, pointing to the feeble old king.
The king’s eyes widened, then fell into a grin.
“Wrong choice.”
The king threw off his robes, and he was fuckin ripped son,,
so anyway that’s the plot of the 5th episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender
you guys all talk about how “petty” you are but one time my mom was so annoyed that the house was a mess that she made an actual vlog of her walking around the house and calling out every single family member for their shit and then threatened to post the video on facebook and instagram if we didn’t clean it up
(In unison, they both slowly rise to their feet, never breaking eye-contact. They stand apart for one moment before collapsing into each other.)
Pidge: (crying) Oh, my gosh! Ever since the Kerberos Mission they- they said that you were dead, but I knew you weren’t! I knew- I never- Mom and I never gave up hope, I swear, we never stopped looking for you- Matt.
Matt: (voice catching) I can’t believe you found me. It doesn’t- it doesn’t seem possible. I… I missed you so much, Pidge I can’t believe you’re-
Pidge: (tasers him with her bayard)
Matt: KATIE WHAT THE HECK
Pidge: (sobbing) WHY DO YOU HAVE A GRAVE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE
Is there any more quintessential a Middle Class White Family experience than having to deal with relatives who get super mad about redistributive economic policies not because they expect to one day become part of the economic elite, but because they imagine they already are?
Like, buddy, you’re a two hundred grand in debt and you take the bus to the mall. The fact that you timeshare a lakefront cabin doesn’t make you Bill Gates. Your net worth is couch change to actual wealthy folks - these people are not your peers.
In Ireland, there is a political party that want to add a tax of 1% on people who have incomes and assets exceeding €1 million a year. Our friends are going mental and saying they will have to leave the country, that this will crush them……Dude, you earn 37,000 your wife earns 37,000 between you you earn 74,000, your safe, this will not affect you in anyway. Calm the fuck down!
I’m reblogging this mostly for the benefit of the folks saying “dude, that’s only in America”. I’m Canadian, this poster’s Irish - like, come on, let’s stop pretending we’re all squeaky-clean by pointing at America. It’s self-congratulatory bullshit.
