Today, I came across someone claiming that when you make your original characters suffer in your stories, that makes you an abuser, and people shouldn’t declare original characters their ‘babies’ and then put them in harmful/dangerous situations.
We did it. We finally did it.
We’ve reached peak delusion.
Fiction = Reality.
Congratulations, Tumblr.
Omg.
remember in kindergarden there’d always be the really shrieky kid who would come and tell you that you were playing with the toys wrong and you could make them have a grand mal melt down by throwing a baby doll across the room? now you can have that experience all over again, but forever!
New form of joke: telling someone to roll an ability check for something that obviously doesn’t need that type of check
“I wanna see if this dead body is anyone we recognize” “Roll an acrobatics check”
You say joke, but I like to use it as an opportunity to genuinely fuck with players. “I want to see if the dead body is anyone we know.” “Roll acrobatics.” “11?” “The body seizes you by the wrists and lunges at your throat with its teeth, howling like a demon. You are grappled. Roll initiative.”
Or, “I want to check the chest for traps.” “Roll performance.” “Okay, uh. 17…?” “You start whistling quietly while you go about tapping, poking, and examining the sides of the chest. It’s a pretty catchy tune you picked up a couple days ago from the bard.” “Alright, neat, and the chest?” “The chest starts humming along.”
god, it’s so crazy we all have bones… like, just these big hard rods holding our meat up. that’s so fucking wild, i can’t believe it
one of the main reasons i don’t want to get pregnant is i can’t handle the idea of growing bones and not keeping them
this is a very reasonable concern. you go to all that trouble growing new bones and then some shitlord infant steals them out from under you. disgraceful
Also one time he was supposed to write a violin and piano duet, and he wrote the violin part, but he didn’t really feel like writing the piano part, or was too lazy etc. When the concert came up (he played the piano while a fiend played the violin) he set up a blank piece of paper (so people would think he was reading music) and improvised. After the concert he wrote it down so it could be published
okay i’ve reblogged this before but can we just give a shoutout to the orchestra that had to sightread the overture to an audience at the premiere of an opera
