That post about the dude who flipped out bc a girl was nice to him and then didn’t want to fuck him reminded me of one of the more upsetting experiences I’ve had with a man.
SO when I was an undergrad I took Latin, and one day I grabbed coffee after class with the dude who sat next to me. We chatted about… Suetonius, I think? And our other courses and stuff. Totally innocuous conversation.
Next day, in one of my other classes, a delivery guy comes in with a box of a DOZEN RED ROSES and calls out my name. In the middle of class! Interrupting everything! I, burning with embarrassment and confusion, accepted the roses. The professor, bless him, just picked up again like nothing happened.
After class, I run away and open the box. Inside, the roses, and a pink envelope. Inside the envelope was a poem. A sonnet, actually. From the dude I’d had innocuous coffee with the day before.
Ten lines of the sonnet praised my ~beauty, with 3 ENTIRE LINES devoted to my boobs. I’ve repressed most of it, but the phrase “beautiful bosom straining your sweater” was used. BEAUTIFUL BOSOM AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH. The last four lines were devoted to saying that I seemed, like, smart and stuff, and would I go out with him.
So I had to hunt down this dude before Latin class, and thank him for the flowers (NOT THE POEM DEAR GOD) but say I’m not interested. He cried. And then sat at the other end of the classroom and glared at me for the rest of the semester.
This was one of the most agonizing experiences of my life, and I was the one doing the rejecting. It was just so skin-crawlingly creepy, even BEFORE I saw the the poem about my boobs. Especially because he sent the flowers/poem to one of my OTHER classes–he had to have tracked down my schedule. Just, for fucks sake. ONE conversation, and this dude conjured up a Grand Romance that demanded a Grand Gesture to a girl he barely knew in front of an entire classroom of strangers.
TL;DR: Don’t ever talk to any man, ever, because you might wind up humiliated and with the words “beautiful bosom straining your sweater” etched into your mind for all eternity.
He just fucking levitates the fish out of the water?
Taako do you even know what fishing is or is this just your own fun interpretation.
Holy shit he takes Barry out fishing with him sometime and Barry’s like, okay, that sounds like a calmer activity than I usually end up doing with one of the twins, this could actually be nice! And he’s kind of looking forward to just spending a chill afternoon with his brother but then… it is, of course, not at all what he thought it would be. Fish are flying everywhere. Barry is standing with a net trying to catch fish out of the air and wondering what he’s doing with his life.
Taako mentions a fishing trip to Kravitz years later, and Barry pulls him aside. “Don’t do it,” he whispers. “It’s not what it sounds like. It’s not what you think it is. Taako-fishing is not other-people-fishing and he won’t do it the right way and Lup thinks the whole thing is great and it’s not, just don’t do it.”
The whole “we’re going to be saying Merry Christmas again” thing is so hilarious because the right has created this fantasy that they haven’t been allowed to say it. It’s also equally hilarious when they act like leftists can’t even hear the words “Merry Christmas” without exploding.
Like, last I checked you’ve had free rein to say whatever you wanted and it’s pretty fucking apparent how much Christmas is a part of U.S. society. Y’all act like Christmas shit isn’t going up for sale in July and that it’s not a national fucking holiday. And as someone who has never really celebrated Christmas, let me just say that I don’t give a shit when you say Merry Christmas. We’re not going to melt.
It’s just funny that the idea “hey there are other people who may not celebrate Christmas and there are actually a lot of holidays around the ‘Christmas break’ time” has turned into some “war on Christmas” bullshit.
