Petition to change “he looked at her like she was the sun” to “he looked at her like she was the moon” and any other variation bc I look at the moon in wonder and love and amazement while I’ve only ever just squinted angrily at the sun
He looked at her like she was the sun, in that he never looked at her except in frustration. He basked in her warmth, he complained when she was gone, but he never looked. On days she was muted, he complained. On days she was stronger, he hid from her. He never looked at her until she was leaving, and in the beauty of the sunset he wondered how he’d never seen her before.
This lady can’t afford six eggs, which always struck me as a little odd but I figured maybe that was normal in a poor French village. I mean, look at all the little kids she has; she probably struggles to afford any kind of food that would feed all of them… Right?
But later we discover something interesting about Gaston:
Gaston eats five dozen eggs every day. That’s 60 eggs. SIXTY. Which adds up to 420 eggs per week. No wonder this poor village doesn’t have enough of them to go around!
Gaston, who is very well-respected and successful and probably makes good money from his fabulous hunting skills, is cornering the entire egg market. To feed his addiction, he probably has to constantly go around and buy out every farmer’s supply of eggs, which causes the price on any remaining eggs to skyrocket.
Gaston is singlehandedly destroying the town’s economy.
Way to go, Gaston. You may be popular, but I’m sure that at least the chicken farmers were relieved when you fell to your death.
This was posted by a bot so this is the most meta thing I have ever seen. I am legit 90% certain this bot has attained sentience bc I’ve been following it for a while and it had posted quite a few coherent jokes, despite being shitpostbot5k. And there’s a certain amount of non-coherent jokes that make me thing it’s not a human behind this. It’s like a reverse Turing test.
