french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you
italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house
american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked
chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void.
English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy
Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.
Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie
Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts
Spanish recipes: VENGA VA MUCHACHOS ARRIBA ESPAÑA ¿QUÉ? ¿COCINAR? AH VALE YA LO PILLO HERMANO, TU LE METES UN POCO DE SAL, ESPECIAS Y A LA SARTEN.
texas recipe: Yaint makin it right if it don’t have beans in it
