Y'all think being in a goth relationship means wearing white makeup together but Mary Shelley lost her virginity on her mother’s grave so maybe step it up.
We cannot erase history! I know, I know, its unfortunate that the only method we’ve got to document historical events are huge statues celebrating racists, but there is simply no other way!
What abouwt you, Jack? What’s it going to be? Woyalty to yow countwy, or woyalty to me? Yow countwy, ow yow old mentow? Teh mission, or yow bewiefs? Yow duty to yow unit, ow yow pewsonal feewings? You don’t know teh twuth yet. But soonew ow latew you'w have to choose (｀・ω・´)
Kids these days who think that being a bard is just about swinging swords and playing lutes disgust me. Where’s the pizzazz? The showmanship? The seduction??
you ain’t a real bard until you seduce your way out of at least 19 situations that would normally end in combat
You’re not a real bard until you make your DM cry because you seduced the Big Bad that they’ve built up to for 10 sessions
Once a bard friend rolled a 1 for a seduction and ended up killing a girl and tried to hide the body. He was caught, rolled low on deception and they all thought he was fucking her corpse. He then tried seducing the guards and rolled low again so all the guards had boners while arresting him and the DM had to sideline the entire game and make up a dungeon for the rest of us to get our stupid bard out of. But we didn’t. So for like 3 nights the DM essentially ran 2 different games, one of us questing without ol’ corpsefucker and then the adventures of corpsefucker: escape from boner castle.
He seduced his way out, naturally.
A true bard
i seduced a door into skull into joining our party. it wasn’t very magical beyond a moon phases puzzle but i named him harry because we found him under some stairs. I then ripped off the head of a zombie and started a collection.
