Silver Tongue

Jan 10

(Source: jigglypuffsvevo, via thatsthat24)

[video]

A brief thought on “humans” as a fantasy RPG race

dignifiedrice:

jumpingjacktrash:

crossroadsdimension:

underscorex:

It’s usually done so humans are presented as “average”. In my conception, humans are the daredevils. The one thing a human loves more than watching another human do something horribly unsafe is doing something unsafe themselves.

It’s said that the stout and serious dwarves invented the first staircase, but it was a human who came up with the idea of surfing down the staircase on an oaken shield.

Elves have lived in the great Hometree overlooking the Mother River for untold ages. It was a human who first had the idea to jump out of the tree and into the river.

That’s the other thing - dwarves are stout and hardy, but like the stone they came from, once they break, they’re broken. Humans recover impossibly fast by the standards of other races. They’re also the first ones to get up after an explosion or cave-in, with a cheerful “I’m okay!” They can’t take as much as a dwarf, but nobody beats humans at getting back up again and again and again for more punishment.

The Hobbits appreciate Human vigor, their good cheer, and certainly their lusty appetite for food and drink, but the utter glee with which humans will attempt to harm themselves or their fellows in a misguided attempt at “fun” is horrifying. Their rituals and celebration - they let themselves be charged by bulls! - are seen as a testament to human ingenuity, creativity, and utter lack of good sense.

The humans who are most highly regarded by their peers are those who excel at SOMETHING. Dancing, throwing, singing, fighting - humans love watching other humans be excellent at things, even something otherwise pointless and wasteful, like throwing knitting needles into melons.

They are, to a fault, resilient. No Elves would DARE return to a failed settlement. The land is cursed and the dead walk there. Humans will rebuild the same castle over again with the same standing stones.

TL;DR - only humans would invent the X-Games.

Humans are Weird: Fantasy Edition

dwarf: my heart is strong as a mountain

elf: to hear the song of the trees you must cultivate stillness

hobbit: when you get right down to it, there’s no place like home

human: HOLD MY BEER

I actually love this conception of humans as a fantasy race. So much nicer than the boring ‘average’ shit writers come up with as the default. 

(via mbulteau)

[video]

spaceafrx:

siezureinabag:

themutantgene:

out-there-on-the-maroon:

adios-toreadork:

glumshoe:

cipherface:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

Art forgery is the best crime tbh. It requires absolutely incredible artistic talent, technical skill, and attention to detail to make convincing fakes. Does anyone get hurt from it? No! The only people who suffer for it are the extremely wealthy who want the prestige of having original paintings in their own homes. It’s full of international intrigue and mystery. Perfect.

Also… art forgers like van Meegeren sometimes become a kind of folk hero. A swindler, sure, but a gentleman’s swindler.

I liked this guy’s story, Mark Landis, who conned several dozen museums into displaying his forgeries, but when the FBI came after him they couldn’t do anything because he had always given them away as donations. They said if they could have found that he’d ever taken anything in exchange they would have prosecuted him, but all he wanted was get to out of the house and meet people.

“The first painting Landis “donated” was a copy of a work by Maynard Dixon, an artist well-known for his paintings of cowboys and Indians. It started as impulse, Landis says, but then “everybody was just so nice and treated me with respect and deference and friendship, things I was very unused to — I mean, actually not used to at all. And I got addicted to it.”” And it looks like all his forgeries are done with cheap materials, like markers and Hobby Lobby frames.

Ok, but Wolfgang Beltracchi is probably one of the best Fraud Artists in the world.

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His career brought him millions upon millions of dollars and lasted almost 40 years. He finally admitted to painting fraudulent art after the white paint he used came under scrutiny. 

Bob Simon: What do you think this Max Ernst would be worth?
Wolfgang Beltracchi: This one?
Simon: Yeah.
Beltracchi: $5 million, I think.
Simon: $5 million.  And you can do it in three days?
Beltracchi: Yeah, oh yes, yes, sure, or quicker”

-From a 60 minutes interview with Bob Simon


In The interview with Beltracchi, he said that none of his forgeries are copies, they’re all original works that the famous artists could have painted.

“Beltracchi estimates he has done 25 Max Ernsts. He is not copying an existing work. He’s painting something he thinks Ernst might have done if he’d had the time or felt like it.”
 -  The Con Artist: A multi-million dollar art scam


His wife was also in on the scam, she would dress up in old clothing and take pictures holding the paintings with old cameras to fake proof of the paintings’ ages.

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At the end of the interview with Wolfgang Beltracchi he was asked if he felt he had done anything wrong, his answer was “ Yeah, I used the wrong kind of paint”

Just … the levels of con there, the fake photos and … wow. That’s incredible. 

Heroes

Also fun fact we learned in class today: Michelangelo carved a sculpture of a Roman god, broke off the arm, and then buried it. The sculpture was dug up and was considered to be an authentic Roman artefact, until Michelangelo came along with the missing arm and called shenanigans on himself, just to prove he was as skilled a sculptor as the ancient Romans.

honestly mike? chill.

Goals

(via robustquestioner)

kaijuno:

zero-redeeming-qualities:

kaijuno:

zero-redeeming-qualities:

kaijuno:

kaijuno:

kaijuno:

i love liminal spaces its like a location that’s dissociating and i feel like if i go there while also dissociating i’ll just ascend to the astral plane 

HEY i did it i went to a scruby walmart at like 10pm while dissociating and i felt like i was a cryptid in like ghost walmart or something and it was the weirdest thing i’ve ever done

careless whisper was playing on a loop. there were 3 other people. none of the checkouts were open so you had to use self checkout. i didn’t see a single worker there. multiple lights were flickering.

Here’s the big question though: Are you the same person who went in?

i dont


i dont know

Well, there’s only one way to find out. Go back again, and see if you meet yourself in the bathroom mirror.

self care is fighting your good doppelganger in a walmart bathroom at midnight

(Source: kaijuno, via robustquestioner)

moonlandingwasfaked:

pussylipgloss:

pussylipgloss:

pussylipgloss:

the fact that tumblr is putting ads on people’s mobile blogs but they won’t pay bloggers says a lot…….they’re literally making money off people with high traffic blogs

You can have them taken off your blog by going into your blog settings and turning off the on blog advertising (via desktop or desktop view in your mobile browser!). I recommend everyone does it, tumblr doesn’t pay us so they shouldn’t make money off of us.

How to:

Settings>Blogs (choose blog that you want advertising removed from) >Advertising >On blog advertising

they were supposed to start paying us
@staff
where money 👀

(via robustquestioner)

sweetlyminiaturesublime:

k-lionheart:

ralkana:

alykat86:

bittyblueeyes:

nominanescio:

joestoyes:

unironicallyenthusiasticknitter:

dafezgirl:

thomas-is-so-vine-and-kind:

“really?” I say to inanimate objects that are not working like they usually do

“Stay.” I glare at inanimate objects that continuously fall over

“Thank you!” I say exhasperatedly to the inanimate objects when they do finally work right/stay put

“Sorry! I say to the table I bumped into

“SHHH” I say to the inanimate object that keeps making noise

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” I huff at the persistent kitchen timer.

“Don’t take that tone with me!” I exclaim at objects that make strange and sudden unknown noises.

“Stop crying, you’re fine,” I snap as I’m looking for the charger cord for the electronic device beeping demandingly at me.

“Oh nice, real mature,” I snarl at devices that suddenly stop working after I berate them for not working properly.

JESUS CHRIST I HAVE NEVER RELATED SO HARD IN MY LIFE

“excuse me” I say as I squeeze between an empty chair and a wall

(Source: shenanigans-of-a-young-person, via robustquestioner)

[video]

anony-mouse-writer:

snartha:

squidspawn:

snartha:

lsusanna:

tolkien-in-beleriand:

earlgraytay:

You know, Tolkien just said elves have leaf-shaped ears. He didn’t see what kind of leaf.

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I need a Fëanor with one of these

or any elf actually

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you rang

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please let this post be a giant pile-on with like 20 different artists

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I’ll just add a cannabis-eared hippie-elf then~

I always like a good “high elves” joke

What if different elf types have different leaves. Like, different forests have different trees, different elves have different ears

(via mbulteau)