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Rubbed on balls every night for three years straight and I still ended up with over twenty kids. This stuff does not work.
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“I got a free cat in the box with this purchase but I’m not sure if I should open it to see if the cat is ok.”
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I left this product next to my pet lizard, unfortunately now he’s 350ft tall now and is currently destroying Tokyo, Japan”
“If I opt for air mail does it get delivered by Amazone Prime Air or CIA drones?“
“I want to turn my pet iguana into a 400 foot tall kaiju with radioactive breath. How many should I buy?”
“Oh, so on re-reading the book, it’s nitrogen, phosphorus, and POTASSIUM in garden fertiliser. Not Uranium. My bad, great product, and I’m now off to take the tomato plant for its walk.”
“Would rate zero stars if I could! I guess the super powers you receive from this product are completely random. My power was colon cancer and the ability to smell colors. How am I supposed to fight crime with that?! Do not buy!”
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Relabeled it liverwurst and left it in the break room fridge. Of course it was gone the next day. Turned of the lights in our office and as expected, Peter from accounting was the only one glowing in the dark. No wonder he never brought lunch to work.”
“This stuff works great as hair removal. Take the rock and crush it into your shampoo. All of your hair will fall out, and give your head a nice glow so you can read without any lights on.”
Weird how engraving someone’s name on a dagger signifies that dagger’s owner, but engraving it on a bullet signifies the bullet’s intended target.
This conundrum is easily solved with my patented Dagger Gun
Crossbow
Blocked
its a common misconception but engraving someones name in a dagger binds them to the dagger and gives them a massive power boost, but they have to follow the commands of the person who wields the dagger.
painting a gay bar as a safe place for straight girls avoiding straight men is wild to me bc ideally it would be a safe place from the straights for gay ppl but we can’t have anything can we
i think people here are misunderstanding what im trying to say. this isn’t a fuck you to every straight girl who’s been to a gay bar. i myself wouldn’t blink at the idea of bringing some of my straight friends to a gay bar for a fun night out. what im criticizing is this new wave of articles and think pieces urging straight women to take refuge in places that are ultimately meant to be safe places for gay people from straight people themselves. if you want to write about a need for more women’s spaces and women’s bars where women can feel safer, im all for it. but don’t try to rewrite or infringe on what a lgbt space is meant for - a space for lgbt people themselves
