i love when i see my door open a crack and then a second later i see my cat’s beautiful little face
i love when my door is busted open so forcefully that it bounces off the doorframe and my cat barrels onto my bed screaming
i love when my door opens, keeps opening, clips into the wall, clips out of the hallway wall, closes from the opposite side, and my cat glitches into the room without a face
Look, this is my litmus test: I pretend I am the original Earl of Sandwich. I have asked for non-bread foods to be brought to me inside bread, that I might more easily consume them one-handed while gambling.
This does not enable my wretched regency habits. This is not what I asked for. I do not deign to grace it with the name of my house.
This is the most important addition to the sandwich discourse I have ever read.
THIS IS THE BEST LITMUS TEST FOR SANDWICH-OR-NOT I HAVE SEEN.
