If anyone tells you that you can’t be badass, and also girly, don’t forget to tell them that one of the most beloved Norse goddesses, Freyja, was the goddess of beauty, sexuality, and fertility, but she was also the goddess of sorcery, war and death.
Also she did all this while riding a chariot pulled by cats.
Don’t forget that persephone is the goddess of spring and rebirth and she is also the one ruling the underworld. Like, hades is chill and would probably let everyone just do whatever if persephone didn’t make sure to separate bad, neutral and good people. Without her, Hades would have led orpheus waltz out of the underworld with no caviate but she was like “we can’t just do that, they have to make sure they are at least worth living again” She is girly and she is super hardcore.
So i’m moving out on my own soon and my dad wants to make sure i know how to cook and he just called me downstairs and threw an apron at me and was like “WELCOME TO CHOPPED”
Ok my mystery ingredients are: canned potatoes, frozen spinach, frozen green beans, and tilapia
And he shoved them all under a cake platter so he could do a dramatic reveal
He keeps referring to himself as Tim Allen and idk if he’s trying to be funny or if he is just confused as to what Ted Allen’s name is
HE JUST YELLED “SUDDEN DEATH” AND PULLED A BAG OF WALNUTS OUT JFC DAD TED ALLEN WOULD NEVER DO THIS TO ME
Alright so we’re doing Walnut Crusted Tilapia on a Bed of Spinach with a side of Microwaved Green Beans and Canned Potatoes. Gourmet cooking at its finest.
He has been narrating everything I’ve done and whenever I’m about to fuck up he runs to the kitchen table and pretends to be a judge like “Interesting choice preheating the oven to 300°…I’d do it to 350°”
My dad told me I only have three minutes left but I think he said that three minutes ago so idk if he’s serious? IDKIDKIDK EVERYTHING IS A BLUR RN AND I HAVENT EVEN PLATED WHAT AM I DOING ON TUMBLR
Ok so apparently “throwing things on the plate in a panic” isn’t plating, but it tasted really good. Also, I didn’t get chopped, but my dog did because she wouldn’t stop barking at the neighbor.
I feel so accomplished and idk I think I’m ready for the actual show keep an eye out for me, guys
