Silver Tongue

Jul 22

dat-soldier:

grossrabbit:

grossrabbit:

I know a guy who ended up becoming a professional chef because of the tim burton charlie and the chocolate factory movie and i guarantee none of you will be able to guess how

ok so this movie came out like, 2005ish? And this kid was in his early teens, so 12-14 years old i guess. And he’s watching this movie and there’s the scene where the chewing gum kid, Violet something, is chewing the gum that tastes like a three course meal and the first two tastes are tomato soup and roast beef and that’s all well and good but then it gets to blueberry pie and OOP she’s all swollen up like a ten-foot tall human blueberry. And this kid, being the age he was, had just kinda started puberty and might’ve had a little crush on Violet to start with, so all the feelings and hormones got a lil mixed up while watching that scene and he ended up with a great big inflation kink. So this is a thing for a few more years, he’s cranking his hog to deviantart pictures of big ol balloon ladies and the kink develops (as they sometimes do) into one where he gets off from watching those videos where people eat a ton of food. But then from there he starts to become interested, not in the person eating the food, but the food itself. Pretty soon he’s watching cooking video tutorials and attempting to cook for his family and within a couple years he’s got good. Real good. So good, in fact, that he publishes a modest cookbook at age 17 and makes enough money off selling it to buy himself a car. By the time he’s graduated highschool he’s had scholarships and apprenticeship offers from no less that 5 separate cooking schools, three of which were international. He told me all this inbetween throwing up in a bathtub at a party we were both at. I hadn’t actually met him beforehand but id seen him around school a few times (he was a couple years older than me). Last I heard of him, he’s working as the head chef in some big boy restaurant back in my city and has at least one award for something. And that’s how some guy became a professional chef thanks to tim burtons charlie and the chocolate factory movie

that’s how it is sometimes

(via dan-mcneely-deactivated20210328)

nautilusopus:

nautilusopus:

nautilusopus:

nautilusopus:

i’m gonna use my hacking powers to do an all pyjama run in pokemon y

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Mission parameters set.

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Fuck that noise.

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YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM

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God this is gonna suck when I get to Frost Cavern. 

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Still holding on tight to that 3DS I don’t have and couldn’t figure out how to get back. Our mom’s probably holding it hostage.

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Haha I’m never going back in there in case the game notices I’m not wearing the default outfit and forces me into actual clothes again. 

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Oh hey, do you want to see how it resolved the issue of not having a full render model?

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The short answer is it didn’t.

(via rosexknight)

(via gearholder)

[video]

[video]

shittyideas:

prank someone by replacing their cocaine with salt

shittyideas:

Using your phone as a butt plug

Set it to vibrate first

saw this in my friends dads office and had to do a double take

scotchtapeofficial:

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(via tamascotchi-deactivated20190101)

silver-tongues-blog asked: What if succubus pony ends up being raised by regular noble ponies and has a whole prince of Egypt style thing?

modofpitchpatch:

*sweats*

Is it now that I say I actually have another Succubus-character in mold, with JUST that story, hahaha

Or well, it is more, a succubus who’s parents cast a spell on her that made her keep her disguise as a baby, until her teen years

and she ends up in an orphanage where nobody wants to adopt her, because she is rather feral and aggressive compared to the babyponies

and it leaves her bitter and hateful

and possibly bery very dangerous

OuO …

ooooooooo that sounds so rad