Daddy took me to see Moana last night! 😍🙈🙊😻 it was amazing and he’s the best daddy ever
Keep your kink out of the Moana tag, thanks.
How about you go fuck yourself I didn’t ask for your opinion or impute so go do whatever the fuck you do somewhere the fuck else we didn’t go see this movie for the fact we are ddlg or kink related we went because I wanted to see the fucking movie I’m the daddy btw a 22 year old guy who fucking likes movies if they are good so go fuck your self because I’m planning on watching it again and guess what you can’t fucking stop me so you need to grow the fuck up this isn’t even inappropriate your just looking to start shit so move the fuck along you piece of fucking shit and guess what I carry a fucking pistol on me to guess you have a problem about that to so just go to your safe zone where you can play big and bad like you have any fucking clue how this world works and quit trying to tell someone how to live their life if you got a problem you can come find me my name is loveless bitch
Humans: hello, we come in peace. we are from a planet we call Earth.
Alien: oh yes! the bagel planet!
Humans: … what?
Alien: you are the only planet in the known galaxy that has invented bagels. we would like to make trade agreements right away.
Humans: i… okay then.
This is a fantastic premise, Earth having a commodity that only humans have made, and we can only make it on our planet because our resources are just unique enough that other planets cannot replicate it. Wait until the aliens get a load of what we call moon pies, or macaroons, or tiny philo cups full of pumpkin spice custard.
“I truly appreciate that you like our food so much,” the agent
said, slightly confused, “but… how did you ever come across it?”
The alien shrugged. It looked humanoid, but slightly… off. Its
eyes were a deeper and purer color than humanely possible, its hair shone a
little bit too bright and the skin was a little bit too smooth. It would have
been a perfect human. The only thing that truly stood out were its hands. They
had six digits and were a little bit too big, but it handled the bagel with
surprising grace.
“Simple! We’ve been monitoring your planet for ages. We
haven’t paid a lot of attention to you though. We always thought you were mere
vermin, a plague, but this,” It waved the bagel around, expertly turning it in
his fingers so it wouldn’t be dropped, “this proves that you are worth
existing!” It took a perfect bite. No crumbs spilled from its mouth, no grease
got on its perfect clothes or lips.
The agent was slightly
shaken, but he made sure the alien didn’t see it. “I see,” he said. “No
offense, but do they not have any treats on your planet?”
It laughed. “Oh, we do, but
it’s simply not the same! You have unique ingredients to choose from that we
don’t have, like sugar or cocoa! Oh, you simply haven’t lived until you’ve tasted chocolate. That is why we want to propose
a trade!”
The agent nodded, still
confused. “Well, alright then…”
