Silver Tongue

nflstreet:

carnival-phantasm:

they banned “bimbo” and “beta male”

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They are walking to tumblr HQ in order to plant explosive devices

heritageposts:

christmasblogger:

reminder that this is a free website with millions of users and zero ads that is run by normal human beings

you frickers need to stop complaining do you realize how much of a technological marvel this place is

date of origin: 2013

ixieko:

iamtrashofthetrashiestorder:

futureevilscientist:

justpastryvideos:

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RAT CAKE

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from @/nonbinarycas

The messages on the cake:

“Happy birthday rat!” - “And you too, rat!”

genquerdeer:

erikkillmongerdontpullout:

vague-humanoid:

sevenmoths:

full offense but the increase in cop shows in recent years being concurrent with the more widespread condemnation of the police is not a fucking coincidence

Some history, cop shows exist to make the public like cops.

Remember when I said this and people where mad because I would kiss the ground B99 walked on?

  • Original detective stories of Sherlock Holmes: depict police as stiff and lacking imagination
  • Later developments from early 20th century (Agatha Christie and such): similarly, police is stupid and easily tricked by criminals, and smart amateurs have to save the day
  • around 1930s ‘hardboiled’ and noir fiction: police are every bit and corrupt and detestable as criminals, and sometimes ARE the gangsters. These are almost entirely realistic, as they’re often written from actual experiences of real private detectives
  • 1940s, vigilante detective fiction like Batman and the Shadow: where as always, police is portrayed as at worst corrupt and at best useless, and it’s up to brilliant people in masks to solve crimes
  • 1950s: SUDDENLY with Dragnet, police are all brilliant crimefighter heroes who solve all the crimes, and are Always Lawful Good, and criminals are Always Chaotic Evil
  • onwards: 80-90% of detective fiction is about cops, and usually follows the Dragnet formula (e.g. stuff like CSI)

Thesis: police procedural is a predatory creation that has co-opted the notoriously anti-cop genre of detective fiction, whose primary starting idea was that cops were little more than thugish brutes, unsuited to subtle scientific art of solving crimes, and turned it into shallow propaganda.

Thesis point 2: Scooby Doo are the only unproblematic modern detective stories.

pinecontents:

farflypants:

The Wizard High Council is asleep! The time to ponder illegal orbs is now!

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if anyone is wondering why marimo moss balls are illegal, it’s because there’s recently been an issue with them carrying invasive zebra mussels

belgiamese-boy:

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bringing this meme format back since history is repeating itself.

antifrance:

altospaceangel:

dyketrickfoot:

fucktheflagandfuckyou:

fucktheflagandfuckyou:

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its been 6 months and im still not over this. easily best and most hilarious play in baseball history

for those who dont really understand:

-the first baseman had no reason to chase Baéz, if he just stepped on the bag he was automatically out

-theres two outs, so if hes out, the inning is over. even if the runner on second base gets home, the run doesnt count. its not until hes safe at first that the run scores

-theres no specific rule in baseball about running backwards from first, just that you “cannot retreat to home base” meaning so long as if you dont touch the plate, its fine

-Baéz ran backwards to kill enough to get the run to score, and then stole and extra base on the base on the bad throw

-HE TOOK THE TIME TO UMPIRE HIS OWN PLAY AND CALL SAFE

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what a fucking sport yall

@fractaldunes

Javier Baéz’s nickname according to those announcers is El Mago which is spanish for The Wizard

Well earned

love how the explanations do not help at all

kaijuno:

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this is ranibow sprimkles erasure

beautifulterriblequeen:

ankyans:

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Eugene gets me

HAPPY LIMINAL SPACEMAS, COUCHES

beachnet:

staff

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