Big Boss employed a man whose sole claim to fame was that he was able to run. Said man also was incapable of jumping since he runs into claymore mines you place on the floor
A man named “Hot Coldman” was a high ranking government official
There are several mechs that spoke like Vocaloids and sang while attacking
An astronaut died, was possessed by a pyrokinetic demon, and was able to continue living as a zombie by sheer force of will
A man had his arm cut off and then replaced it with the arm of his boss, whose ghost then briefly possessed him. Maybe.
Two United States politicians attempted to use Metal Gears to restore America to greatness. Both men were killed by the same man with a katana
Nanomachines are pretty much the explanation for everything
There was a guy who could control bees
Big Boss discovered the tsuchinoko
Big Boss ate the Tsuchinoko, leading to it’s extinction and mythological status
a vampire jumps out of a hover jet to run on water and then up a wall at a 90 degree angle
Solid Snake used a $15,000 sniper rifle to shoot an ordinary mouse from 30 feet away because it ate a card that fell into toxic waste
Solid Snake has hidden inside of a cardboard box multiple times
Solid Snake can fit his entire body (5′10″, 200>lbs) into an ordinary 5 gallon bucket
30 foot talk walking tanks with Nuclear Capabilities exist
Theres an old man who not only lives off Photosynthesis, but can stop his heart and die for years at a time, to save what life he has left for when he needs it
ghosts are real
Big Boss paid scientists to invent poisonous hamsters and Owls/Snakes that somehow produce identical eggs
1 square mile of Squeeky Sand
30 story buildings with 1 staircase, some floors without hand rails and no supports
a bipedal robot on rollerskates that can be controlled with a PS3 controller
marionettes that can resurrect the dead or ragdoll the living
an albino man ordered by internet personalities into sword dueling with the ex-president of the united states, who has dual katanas, robotic octopus tentacles, and rocket powered rollerskates, on top of Federal Hall after crashing a giant, 3 mile-long Robot Manta Ray into Manhattan Island
oh and Solid Snake once did a somersault over a door in one game, which caused the largest divide in the history of the Metal Gear fanbase, despite the creator approving of the scene and including proof of the games canon in MGS4. There are still many people who will try to disprove it’s canonicality.
Oh, in 1974, Big Boss stole CIA documents for the ingredients to Doritos and Mountain Dew.
Big Boss invented Doritos and Mountain Dew…
also Huey invented Vaping.
What about the fact that the USSR apparently had thousands of acres of pristine, untouched Russian Jungle teeming with Russian pythons, Russian crocodiles, and Russian treefrogs.
or the fact that several major decades long global conspiracies occurred because everyone was Gay for Big boss
-people for sure saw that last fight with the president and raiden because arsenal gear beached itself in manhattan so after it all happened people must’ve been like
“hey do you remember that one time that barge crashed into shore and the ex-president and some ninja dude were dueling to the death with katanas on the top of federal hall?”
“yeah that was pretty sick”
The worst part is if one of these guys is lying I wouldn’t know because this really is the metal gear universe
Also in the metal gear universe: a man who thinks memes are the basis of human life
And the quote “wipe this meme off the face of the earth”
I’ve played all the games and can confirm that everything listed here is 100% accurate
“or the fact that several major decades long global conspiracies occurred because everyone was Gay for Big boss
“
That’s it, that’s the perfect summary for the entire Metal Gear timeline. The ongoing story of what one man and the man crushes his allies and enemies alike had for him wrought.
I giant fire whale attacks a hospital in the desert
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
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