the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg
oh no I’m not falling for this one again
what
Pasteurising an egg is between 140℉ and 142℉ because it’s hot enough to kill bacteria but not hot enough to cook the egg, so it can be treated as raw after treating it. Your average healthy core body temperature is 98.7℉ Taken rectal temperature, a fever is over 101℉ 104℉ is life threatening and 122℉ means imminent death. So if you can hard boil an egg, you’re well past dead.
I own
a PC repair shop and sell used machines from time to time. One great boon to my
business came last year when Microsoft announced the free upgrade to Windows 10
for 7 and 8 users. I had stickers printed up that said, “Compatible with
Windows 10! Free upgrade!” They flew off the shelves. One slipped
through the cracks and was sold as “guaranteed to work with Windows 10” but had
an inferior video adapter.
The customer came in about two weeks ago and had a printout of the
compatibility check from Microsoft saying that the video card was not
compatible with Windows 10. Honoring my promise, I put a known-compatible card
in the machine for the guy for free and apologize for the error.
The
customer comes back again and says that it’s still not working. What’s more, he
brought his “Windows 10 basic instructor” with him to help him out.
Now –
who do you imagine would be teaching how to use Windows 10 to a community
school of seniors? If you answered “an eighty year old woman who doesn’t seem to understand computers whatsoever,”
congratulations! Treat yourself to a cookie.
Knowing
that this woman is a potential reference to all of her would be “students”, I
was anxious to please her no matter what. I told them to bring in the
computer and I would get in running. They brought it in, and then the
instructor sat down and started clicking around on it.
The
first thing she did was open the browser, and click on one of those “scan pc for
errors” pop-ups. I stopped her before she downloaded a file.
For 20
frustrating minutes, she wouldn’t let me run the compatibility test while falling
for every piece of spam and malware you can imagine. Every time I tried to stop
her from downloading a piece of “free” software to check if “your computer is
too slow” she would lecture me on the importance of keeping a computer up to
date.
????? This is the guy in my English class that I only contact when I wasn’t in class. It’s too early for this.
If you’ve had some creep send you something worse than this, please let me know.
So he forgot he requested me on Facebook…I messaged his mother.
You know you fucked up when your mom tells someone to call the police about your ridiculous behavior because she tried but she is DONE, you’re supposed to be a man by now.
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
