yourplayersaidwhat:

David Blaine is a recurring character in our universe

P1: David Blaine show us some street magic!!

P2: yea David Blaine show us some street magic!

DM: “i don’t know what you guys are talking about” you all suddenly realize that David Blaine is wearing all of your clothes simultaneously, and that he has been wearing them since you first saw him.

entire party:

raddical:

@hypeswap im DYING

siriuslyymoonyy:

littlelions101:

adramofpoison:

dondaario:

so if in the soulmate au the very first words your soulmate ever says to you are tattooed somewhere on your body since the day you are born imagine having something like ‘man I cant believe dumbledore died’ tattooed on you. imagine being spoiled for a book series that doesnt even exist yet. imagine worrying about this dumbledore guy your whole childhood while not knowing who he is. imagine knowing dumbledore dies before jk rowling even thinks about it.

Everybody go home, this is my favorite soulmate au

So you finally find your soulmate. After years of knowing that dumbledore dies and the entire franchise being ruined, you find him. You’re in the theatre, dumbledore is dead and you hear it. ‘Man I can’t believe dumbledore died’ by a guy walking right by you and in you’re rage you shout ‘You! You’re the one!’ The guy stops, looks at you, his own arm to read the words, then back at you and he says, “That’s not really how I imagined that being said”

It got better

imagine clocking your soulmate right afterwards for spoiling it long before it existed.

atomic-clock:

atomic-clock:

like its right next to you every time you order its disturbing

y’all think im kidding

Like some graphic designer at freakin Boba Headquarters deliberately choose to make THAT part of “flavored” extremely noticeable

zoeyskravitz:

look at the rock’s reaction to accidentally getting his titty touched

mgs3:

LOOK AT THIS INCREDIBLY GOOD BOY

maximumfonzarelli:

petition for DC and marvel to come together and make the Thor and Wonder Woman culinary-discovery buddy film we all need

misaimed-archer:

swimmingferret:

john-paul-jonesing-for-liberty:

the-porter-rockwell:

belligerenceforhire:

I hate folding laundry but at least I’m not this lazy about it.

@rachielena

“Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.”
- Robert A. Heinlein

Inventor: *creates something that makes life a fuck load easier for disabled or elderly people living alone, or high-pressured workers to lighten their workload*

some moron: UMM LOOK AT THESE LAZY FUCKS LOL

World: *Advances.*

People who had to live pre-advancement: “LAZY!!!!!”