Silver Tongue

lilyvonpseudonym:

mattie-fresh:

dynastylnoire:

black-geek-supremacy:

dynastylnoire:

fattyatomicmutant:

motherhenna:

me, holding my newborn child: what are its stats??

Class: Infant
Race: human
Strength: 0 can barely support own head
Agility 0 needs to learn to walk
Intelligence: 2, understands that crying brings food, replacement of soiled garments with fresh ones
Wisdom 1 no object permanence
Charisma: 20 becuase people lose their shit around babies, -1 for each month until Terrible Twos and all Charisma drops to 1.

HP: 2

Spells per day: Cloudkill, Telepathic Summons, Sleep (casts on Self),

Infant fingernails: does +1 cutting/slashing damage

Infant head butt: +5 mele damage

Adult Earring pull: +2 Slashing damage

Vomit : +1 acid damage

Stinky diaper: +200 poison damage

Under what conditions would the baby level?

After 6000 crawls walking would become available

PLEASE DO NOT BRING BABY INTO COMBAT

BABIES DO NOT GAIN EXPERIENCE THROUGH THAT

emthroney:

lemonsharks:

ltarget:

ziggy-starlord:

I feel like people have forgotten about this

Stage-Toph: “I see everything that you see, except I don’t ‘see’ like you do. I release a sonic wave from my mouth.” *elongated scream* “There! I got a pretty good look at you.”

but the LOOK on Toph’s FACE it is the best thing E V E R R R

#there is no way in hell I could ever forget about this who do you take me for

every su critical post

scotchtapeofficial:

um i thought steven didnt know how to use his gem powers (see: s1e01) but in later episodes he’s seen having a lot of control over them??? :/ come on rebecca sugar.. really… the crew thought we’d miss this lol…

pinkdiamond-kid:

darkwingsnark:

heartandstride:

evil-little-princess-from-hell:

heartandstride:

evil-little-princess-from-hell:

marykathryn1:

evil-little-princess-from-hell:

pussifoot:

pussifoot:

So Captain Underpants explores the friendship between a gay boy and a black bisexual boy and y’all wanna say Beauty and the Beast was the pinnacle of gay representation in children’s films huh

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Captain Underpants comes out on Pride Month. Coincidence? I think the fuck NOT.

Excuse but Harold and George aint gay.

You miss the book where Harold has a husband?

Fanfiction aint canon

It’s in the official books written by the actual author, so it is canon. Pilkey wrote it, so it’s canon. 

I refuse to believe he willingly inserted a political agenda into a popular, established children series

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Oh look, stuff from the book! The actual canon book. 

Look at Harold with his husband and kids. Very small but super poignant. 

LOL @ ‘wouldn’t put political agendas in children’s books’. 

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you: obama
me, an intellectual: the homestuck president
crayonara:
“here come those boys
”

crayonara:

here come those boys

samael:

khatoblepas:

saintdraconis:

khatoblepas:

blinkpen:

rice-baller:

hanari-san:

wecansexy:

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i cant believe connie is a filthy homestuck

EXCUSE YOU

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fucking digimon fandom from left field holy shit

u guys realize the sun is a thing right
it’s been out for awhile now

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Orus, why are you posting that reply when that should be Ra job?

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egypt has lots of sun-aligned falcon gods and khato knows em all

perkwunos:

The problem is, you think the world is a series of texts made for the convenience of an experiment, and I think the world is a massive 3D model of Homer Simpson detailing bodily heat flow.

There are 3 types of pain

sixthsoldier:

1. Physical

2. Emotional

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