if you take requests how about karkat with shorts
Anonymous

forsmithsandgiggles:

lewdmangabey:

maybe i’m a goddamn bleeding heart hippie liberal but i’m totally down with paying an extra .50 cents for a thing of fries if the person who makes me those fries doesn’t have to work 3 jobs just to survive.

most studies show that prices would only have to go up by 1 to 3 cents in order to raise employee wages significantly

or, you know, the ceo’s could take pay cuts but that would be so hard for the poor multimillionaires

dimedog:

“I wish I had the time to do that.”

- me, a person who definitely has the time to do that but also has terrible time management skills and most likely to just spend 4 hours getting absolutely nothing accomplished instead of the hundred other things I could and should be doing

coffeebuddha:

absentlyabbie:

should i be in bed? yes

am i? hell no

should i be in bed? no

am i? hell yes

veggieblt:

8bitbowtie:

brentrx:

Never change, Weird Al. 👍🏼 “New Toy”

Weird rubber man, videos

OF COURSE WEIRD ALL OF ALL FUCKING PEOPLE COULD TURN THIS JOKE OF AN ABHORANT SOUND MACHIN INTO A LEGITIMATE INSTRUMENT

corvus-cornix:

maskseller:

robotmango:

PROBLEM:
-THE TRUMP TEAM NEEDS TO FILL 3,000 VACANCIES IN THE NEXT TWO MONTHS.

WHOA, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN??
-they assumed the white house staff would be sticking around, because they never watched “the west wing” and also because they are GRADE A FUCKSTICKS WITH THE INTELLIGENCE OF DEAD PRAWNS, and thus not only do they not have policy papers written, they are also lacking an actual body of qualified staffers ready to slot into white house and related positions
-they have bupkis, frankly
-whole lotta nothing

SOLUTION:
-THEY HAVE PLACED AN OPEN CALL FOR STAFF APPLICATIONS ON THEIR WEBSITE

THAT’S NOT… VERY WEIRD, RIGHT? PEOPLE APPLIED TO WORK FOR OBAMA ONLINE
-yeah, and the website looked like this
-trump’s call for applications is a trainwreck. i assume it was written by one of trump’s three adult goblins. look at this paragraph:

“You will be asked fill out a Personal Data Statement if you are considered for a specific position. You will be asked about possible conflicts of interest… organization[s] which you belong or once belonged; speeches you may have given… legal, administrative and regulatory proceedings to which you may have been a party; in short, anything that might embarrass the President or you if he should choose you for a position in his administration…… If Senate confirmation is required for the position you are nominated for, the Senate committee that reviews those nominations may ask you to provide additional information.“ 

WAIT…. WHAT??
-just a little casual there, guys, huh? like…. the whole thing makes it sound like they don’t have a vetting team ready to go. it makes it feel like there’s no solid recruitment team or strategy in place and…
-oh my God, wait a second
-doesn’t that sound kind of like they’re asking people to vet themselves?
-maybe because they are so WOEFULLY, CATASTROPHICALLY SHORT-HANDED??????
-pun intended

WHAT DOES ALL THIS MEAN, ORANGE??
-well, i’m glad you asked, it could mean a lot of things
-firstly: i wouldn’t trust these sloppy motherfuckers to staff a lemonade stand
-secondly: like, YOU could go WORK FOR TRUMP, probably. they are mass-hiring, like a new denny’s franchise. like eight new denny’s franchises clustered around a single interstate exit, shivering in terror. is your head firmly affixed to your body? are you carbon-based?? they badly need people with those qualifications
-thirdly: it may also, eventually, mean that the trump white house is going to produce an unheard-of metric fuckton of personnel scandals in its first year, since there’s no voluntary, self-reporting “are you a serial murderer” box to tick
-also, do they not understand that people are going to apply just to fuck with them??? and waste their time???
-i don’t recommend it, honestly. i personally will not be submitting any private information to the trump team even as an obstructionist joke, because they are terrifying anti-semitic racist garbage-fucking hate trolls. i wouldn’t voluntarily give them the address of a shoe store. but if you choose to step up and play the game, have fun and be yourselves*



*technically you can be anyone you want, they DON’T APPEAR TO HAVE A VETTING TEAM YET

THERE’S NO USER LOGIN AND YOU CAN APPLY TO BE IN THE DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE

i’ve seen applications/screenings for minimum wage jobs that were 200% more intense than this

trustme-im-a-pirate:

mindblownie:

annabellioncourt:

idrils:

i see your ‘nowhere in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty was an egg’ and raise you ‘nowhere in the legendarium does tolkien say that elves have pointed ears’

Mary Shelley didn’t give the monster bolts.

Arthur Conan Doyle never put Holmes in a deer stalker (also “elementary my dear Watson” is never said in the books, and he doesn’t smoke a curved pipe)

There are boys at Beauxbatons and girls at Durmstrang schools

Edgar Allan Poe wrote the earliest essay on the big bang theory

#reality is an illusion

fuck this site I thought the tv show for the briefest of seconds and the shit machine in my skull thought “quoth the raven ‘Bazongo”

Kirk never said “beam me up Scottie”

sexy-hell-pig:

We can talk about that goddamn shitty movie Maleficent till the cows come home, go on and on about how stupid it is to make such a simply evil but awesome villain the martyr for no goddamn reason.

But you know what I want?

I want a spinoff of the Beauty and the Beast about the one who cursed Adam (the beast,) the Enchantress.

Because this bitch

This fucking bitch, is possibly as evil, maybe even more evil and sadistic than Maleficent.

The Enchantress cursed the prince because he failed a test, he was unkind to her because she presented herself as an ugly old hag. She turned him into a werewolf minotaur hybrid (fucking cool I’ll give her that,) because he was rude to her and didn’t want her rose.

So she cursed him, along with every single one of his servants. What did his servants have to do with any of this? Why are they being punished?

Not only that, but this stood out to me when I watched the movie again. When the spell is broken, all of the monstrous statues and art pieces transform into graceful, beautiful ones, I’m assuming that’s what they looked like before.

So this enchantress not only cursed him and his servants (oh and his fucking DOG DID I MENTION THAT) she took away every beautiful thing he had, replacing them with things like goblins, dragons, ghouls and other monsters, just to remind him what he was and what she had done to him, and he would have to look at them every single day.

I’m going to rightfully assume she provided the magic mirror as well, all of the magic in the movie stems from her, the mirror most likely came from her. His only window to the outside world is a handheld mirror, so he can fucking look at himself.

But you know what the kicker is?

If we take these two lines into consideration

“The rose, which was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 21st year” ~Narrator

“Ten years we’ve been rusting…” ~ Lumiere

We can reasonably deduce that the Enchantress cursed the prince when he was eleven years old.

image

I want this filthy green bitch publicly exposed.

okay but consider this; child beast. like beast but smoller and child.

iida-tenya:

Okay but before I go to sleep: Robbie Rotten is described as the laziest person in LazyTown yet the man is so extra he’s probably on par with sportacus when it comes to the amount of energy they put into the average day to be honest.

chefpyro:

Dick: out may just be the most versatile text meme of the year