Silver Tongue

wonderwomangrad:

Life problems I anticipated as a child:

- quicksand
- ghosts

Life problems I did NOT anticipate as a child:

- the crushing sense of failure associated with botched social interactions.

krudman:

jointphotographicexportsgroup:

8bitmickey:

LIGHT THIS MOTHERFUCKER UP!!!

this episode made television history for fastest facial hue change by an adult male comedian

image

unregistered-hypercam2:

unregistered-hypercam2:

unregistered-hypercam2:

i think the height of western decadence is when rich airheaded kids successfuly use crowdfunding to buy a new car or go on vacation using the same crowdfunding platform that terminally ill children and homeless people use to not die

a shithead kid whos parents are car dealership owners getting $500,000 dollars in gofundme money because he sprained his ankle longboarding while an actual child with leukemia is right on the list under him

walks into the foodstamps office wearing the finest fabrics and furs “yeah i just need to save money on food so i can buy more weed”

american cryptid: seventeen terrifying demons accosted me in my woodland shed and i kilt 'em all with my scattergun
european cryptid: legends say a terrifying beast lives in the loch... an ancient and spiritual faerie, don't go out in the woods at night or lest ye be scurried away by the mushrooms
japanese cryptid: one time i saw a really fat snake

doppelgender:

an unstoppable divorce meets an unmarryable object

Quick! Youre on chopped, the basket ingredients are

justworstcooksthings:

tedallen:

Proscuitto, pirate berry cereal, smoked white cheddar, and nyquil. What do you make?

I take a shot of the NyQuil cause I’m not too sure what it taste like then knock out half way through the round

drugnurse:

spade-nightmaren:

alternate hell reality: emoji movie ends up good and everyone starts making ‘mojisonas’

tag which emoji youd make your mojisona with im the syringe

slimeghost:

fucked up how a goblet is a cup and not a tiny goblin :/

Due to miscommunication, your party finds that the all powerful item stolen from the goblins was not actually an enchanted cup, but their child who was born to be a messiah