I don’t give a flying fuck what you look like. If you tell me you’re a woman, then you’re a woman. If you tell me you’re a man, then you’re a man. If you tell me you’re more than one gender or non-binary or agender or anything else, then that’s what you are. That’s your call to make, not mine.
If you’re not telling the truth for some reason, I’ll still respect that, because I understand that it’s sometimes easier to misgender yourself than to endanger yourself, or maybe you’re just not comfortable coming out to me or the other people around you. Again, your call.
And if the next time we meet you tell me you’re a different gender, then guess what! I’m going to respect that, too.
this is EXACTLY why representation matters
Ahhh!!! Khary!! That is adorable!! Khary is Cyborg on Teen Titans!!
This might come as a shock to some of you but saying “I’m not informed enough on this particular topic to have an opinion” is about 100 times more respectable than being misinformed
I’m sorry to hijack this, but I gotta.
I notice this behavior in men more often than in women, and in boomers more than younger people, but mostly in people who are uncomfortable seeming ignorant, regardless of gender/sex/age/whatever.
Here’s the thing people don’t get. If you BS your way through a fake answer when someone asks you a question, either (1) they know right away and lose all respect for you, assuming that you’re dishonest or willfully ignorant or both, or (2) they really needed the answer because they don’t know it either! And now you have wasted your time and theirs and the time of anyone else who was depending on them getting the correct answer!
Option 1 involves instant negative repercussions for you. That sucks, but is (in my opinion) NOTHING compared to Option 2. Option 2 means you knowingly and intentionally fucked someone over. There is no other way to interpret this. You gave them wrong information and you knew it, and you used their ignorance to delay your own consequences.
I have boundless respect and admiration for people who can say the words “I don’t know”. I love people who say, “Let me check and get back to you.” I’m also a big fan of “Here’s the contact info for someone I know can get you the answer.” Any of these are fine! They’re great! They show that you are honest and respectful and more focused on everyone getting the info they need than your own damn ego.
To sum up: Fuck your ego. Fuck it with a rusty chainsaw. Do not waste people’s time. Do not disrespect people’s ignorance. They were braver than you are just by asking the question you refuse to help them answer correctly.
A quick comic after some meditation on the fact that in the film universe Harley canonically has the name of her abuser tattooed all over her body, and I’m sorry but that sits bitterly at the pit of my stomach.
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