DO YOU EVER JUST FIND A SPIDER IN YOUR SHIRT LIKE BITCH IM SLEEPING ATOP BITING ME
okay i need to clarify that i actually dont fear spiders (or anything) i was just made that this one woke me up. grabbed him and placed him in a corner of my room bc he probably been eating those fruit flies and i hate those things. named them Uranus.
why is everyone surprised. i feed wild snakes dead mice. ive drunk powdered glass by accident. ive been stormchasing since i was 12. once a snake was in my bathroom and i released her in my garden so she could scare off the deer that were eating my fucking tomatoes. i fear no god, nor death and just want to get rid of some damn fruit flies in my room so if an inch long spider crawls across my tummy when im asleep bc theyre trying to make a web ill deal with it.
You badass motherfluffer.
once i cried because i saw a dog and i couldn’t pet it
I envy you. I appreciate the spiders but I am also afraid of them so there are lots of screams and occasional spider casualties. Teach me your ways to coexist with the spiders in harmony
1. spiders have evolved to live inside houses rather then outside conditions so in a way they are your roommates that pay you in eating bugs! yes, they may be a bit scary looking but all roommates you dont know very well seem like that at first.
2. give ur spider a nickname! especially a funny one. I named the one that crawled across my belly Uranus because i like space and it sounds like your anus. its harder to kill things that youve named.
3. however, if this is a deadly spider (i get black widows sometimes, so do your research on your local deadly spiders!) please do not try to form a bond with it in case you scare it and it bites you!! i remember vividly when i was six and there was a black widow mother in my house. my mama stepped on it and baby spiders burst everywhere and we had to get wasp spray. most spiders arent venomous to humans but make sure your new roommate isnt!
4. leave ur spider alone, and theyll leave u alone. they just want to hunt flies and watch you scroll though tumblr. they are guardians that protect you from getting bugs in your room that could carry diseases! if you really wish you can set a bottlecap of water by their web (if you can find it, dont disturb them but set the water about two inches away from them!). its good because water might attract bugs for ur new roommate to eat!!
5. enjoy your low maintenance pet!
i do have to clarify that not all spiders have evoloved to live inside your house! wolf spiders are pretty tough so you can put them anywhere and theyll be ok, but if you find a pretty looking spider dont bring them inside!!!
also heres a picture of Uranus!!
i believe he is non venomous daring jumping spider!
Hey, Rey, how tf did you accidentally drink powdered glass?
it looked like water ok
gotta clarify that i dont live in hell, australia, or the amazon rain forest i just live in some random ass forest in texas
This happened about a week ago and a few other times since.
At the lunch period at my school (which allows us to go off campus) I usually go to a nearby gas station with a few friends to get food. Usually I get a simple burger and a soda for the afternoon. Now at this place, I am pretty well known to the employees, and am a good friend with a few of them. I saw that they had a new hire and decided to take my stuff to his isle. After a few minutes of waiting, he was being trained by the manager. I had finally made it to the register. Now on this day I decided I felt like having a cookie with my lunch. ‘No problem’ I thought ‘I’ve got some extra money’. So I put it down and this little a**hole thought that it was a good idea to scoff and make a comment. I can’t remember exactly what he had said, but it was along the lines of “Do you really think you need that?” And tried to put it away. Now I’m not fat, but I am overweight, but I decided that I had a little shot to fire back.
The manager working with him, let’s call him Jay, had heard what he said and was staring daggers already into the back of his head. So I simply looked up to him and said: “Hey Jay, how’s the wife?” I saw this kids eyes shoot open like dinner plates as he puts it back on the counter. “ Her backs’ still hurting.” I walked out of there knowing that that little sucker was doomed. He’s now tried it while working with 2 others, as I stated I know everyone there, and I’ve gotten him in trouble both times.
i feel like obi-wan was constantly giving cody heart attacks because as the war went on and got more and more dangerous, obi-wan kept deciding “oh, i kinda feel like wearing less aRMOR TODAY”
like honestly, look at this:
early in the clone wars he had chest armor that looks like it probably covers his heart from both the front and the back and also has plating all the way up his arms as well as on his shins. it’s not perfect, but it’s definitely something, especially considering how the majority of the time, the enemy used blasters
after the time skip, apparently obi decided all that plastoid was cramping his style so he got rid of basically all of it except for his forearms. i would love to see his clones’ reaction to finding out their reckless general had now made himself even more of a target.
by ROTS obi-wan decided to basically fuck armor entirely, opting for fabric and leather alone, content in the assumption that the power of the force and pure concentrated sass will save him. he doesn’t even have gloves anymore lol. cody has long given up hope.
and it only gets funnier when you go back even earlier in the war, because he used to wear FULL ARMOR
boy even wore a helmet
no other Jedi did this, Obi-Wan just went full trooper and wore their armor, rode their speeders, wielded their weapons, “Jedi propriety” be damned (and other Jedi did comment on this). Qui-Gon would be so proud.
and then he just starts….stripping as the war goes on
What with his track record with robes, it was only a matter of time before he misplaced all his armor too.
he’s sort of an infamous (well, as far as anyone knows he’s an okay guy? maybe??? no one seems to have ever actually talked to him???) big name furry
who is notorious for one thing
he is, singlehandedly, the source of almost every single piece of Falco x Fox macro art out there (and we’re talking literally hundreds of pieces. maybe even a thousand.)
he’s reclusive, has extremely specific tastes in kink, and commissions so much art (and not just still pieces, we’re talking like several minute long animated porn shorts)
we’re talking like “this guy could buy several houses with the amount of money he spends on commissioned furry porn of his very specific kink”
theres one other thing we know about him- the reason he can afford all this? is because he’s apparently one of the top heart surgeons in the country
This is a *huge* deal… there has only been ONE other FBI director in history who was fired by a President, and that was only after months of ethical scandals.
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
