Chill ass cat yo. I don’t even really fw cats but Behemoth seems coo.
Yo, Lil B (for short) is the fuckin best bruh. He dont freak out when he touches water, & when i put the snapback in front of him he already knows its time to head out 😎. He hops right on in and rides wit me. Chillest killer on my squad lol.
A+: OTP A: I love it B: It’s really cute C: Not a bad ship D: I’m neutral on it E: I don’t really like it F: NOTP N/A: I don’t know the ship well enough
Bring it.
Edit, four mouths later: If you’re playing this game, send the ships to the person whose blog you see it on. It’s great that this game is so popular, but it’s spread to fandoms where I don’t even know the characters, and I’m not playing any longer. Have fun!
Peridot: Percy and Pierre are obviously the best couple because their combined abilities provide the most optimal advantage in battle out of all of the campers.
Me: haha that’s funny. who’d base a ship off of that.
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.
The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”
The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.
Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.
The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.
The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”
The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?”
The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.”
The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.”
The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.”
The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.”
The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?”
The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.
Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.
The man demands the key to the stone door.
The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.
He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.
Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire.
So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.
Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.”
The man is relieved to no end.
He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.
But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk
the way i learned this, it was always told through spoken word. And you’d do the door thing for ages. AGES. literally just making up any old material. ‘behind the foam door is a door made of spinach’ that kind of shit. Go on until whoever is listening has already begged you to stop and has now gone on to pleading, clutching your shirt on their knees pleading. And when you finally said the last line? People went fucking nuts Like there was a good chance of just getting the teeth knocked out of you after telling that joke.
A friend of mine did that shit for 30 minutes on a camp once. The entire fucking bus just exploded in anger when she finished. It was a fucking massacre.
A boy once had a crush on this girl. When he went to ask her to prom, there was already a huge line of guys there waiting to ask her out. The boy waited for five minutes, then ten minutes, then thirty, and then an hour until he finally reached her. When he asked her out, she waited, thinking hard, for about an hour before she finally agreed.
The boy was ecstatic! Now he just had to prepare. When he went to buy his tuxedo, he was astonished to see here was huge tuxedo line! He waited for a minute, then five minutes, then half an hour, then two hours, then five, before he was finally able to buy his tuxedo.
Unfortunately, as he was walking out of the store, he realized he had forgotten to buy a bow tie. As he was walking back, he realized the tuxedo line had grown twice in length. He waiting an hour, then two hours, then four, then ten before he bought the bow tie.
Next up was the corsage. When the boy arrived at the florists, he was disheartened to see a huge corsage line. He waited for a minute, then five, then forty, then an hour and a half, then three hours before he was able to buy his date the perfect corsage
When prom night approached, he picked up his date and made it to the place. However, there was a huge attendee line to get in. He and his date waited a minute, three minutes, half an hour, then three hours until they finally got in.
But of course no prom date is complete without pictures. When the boy and girl made it to the place where they were taking pictures, there was also a huge picture line. So they boy and girl waited a minutes, five minutes, ten minutes, half an hour, three hours, and then another hour until they finally got their pictures done.
By the time they were able to sit down, the boys date was thirsty, so he went to go get her some punch. The boy walked over, and by the time he got to the punch bowl,
i had a dream about fucking… vampire discourse on tumblr like;
“reminder that blood sucker is a slur”
“vamp-born-vamps are valid if u got bitten later in life you’re not part of the vamp community”
“support vamps who drink human blood, support vamps who drink animal blood, support vamps who drink animal and human blood”
“half bloods who are human presenting don’t belong in the community”
fantasy tumblr would be fucking insufferable
god can you even imagine
“If you only have two legs you’re human-passing and don’t belong in the fantasy community”
“What about satyrs?’
“You can wear shoes”
“Just a reminder that if you appropriate mermaid culture you’re a piece of shit”
“Actually we don’t mind because a lot of our culture comes from humans”
“Shapeshifters aren’t valid because they can be human if they want”
Oh my god it gets worse and worse
Listen Sweaty :) :) :) Bigfoots and Jersey Devils aren’t REAL mythfolk :) :) You r just confuused humans :)))
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
ONLY
👏FAIRIES
👏CAN
👏MAKE
👏FAIRY
👏RINGS
Why the FUCK did no one tag me in this
Werewolves are still werewolves no matter what form they’re in. We don’t stop being werewolves when we’re in human form, we don’t stop being werewolves when we’re in wolf form. Stop werewolf erasure!
Listen, I’ve been in a committed relationship with a selkie for over ten years. I can tell you that whole hiding-the-pelt-thing is total bullshit. If he wanted to leave he could, I am not holding him hostage. Please, stop spreading this hurtful misinformation.
Support veelas who dance naked at the crossroads
Support veelas who seduce random townspeople
Support veelas who take shepherds as lovers
STOP SLUT SHAMING VEELAS!!!!!!!
friendly reminder that “ghost” is a term reserved for noncorporeals. if you’re semicorporeal you’re a poltergeist. stop calling poltergeists ghosts.
destroy the idea that zombies “need” to eat brains
some zombies can’t eat brains due to physical conditions that make them too weak to gnaw through the skull
some zombies can’t digest them
some zombies just don’t like the taste
all of these zombies are STILL VALID
DONT 👏 HOARD 👏 ITEMS 👏 UNLESS 👏 YOU 👏 A 👏 DRAGON
This post gets worse every time I see it
OhmyGOD
please don’t joke about going to the club with selkies. It’s not funny.
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
