itchycoil:

I have 2 “head” “cannons” …. They’re called my nostrils

rodrigves:

thefaultinourhoods:

athickgirlscloset:

bruh….phones have calculators now. Please use them

LMFAOOOO

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

duraraross:

kaladrie:

sashayed:

oh my god? oh my god? oh my god? oh my god?? oh m

Oklahoma Lawmakers are TRASH and you should never let them fucking anywhere near anything, important or not. Just… TRASH.

Sincerely,
An Angry Okie

Hosts????? Like is fuckin alien when the person is just the host for the evil alien devil baby???? Is this mitherfucker comparing a pregnant woman to John Hurt with a fake alien under his shirt????

kingdemon94:

seti-fan:

nowisation:

So, Trump hated Sean Spicer being played by woman on SNL.

This week, Kate McKinnon is playing Jeff Sessions. 

Not to mention Leslie Jones as the man himself…

‘Cause if he doesn’t like a woman playing one of the guys in his administration, he’s gonna hate being played by a black woman. ;)

Guess which one is gonna get the most hate for their portrayal

I can’t wait to see his twitter tantrum

darkestnighthour:

Chance the Rapper wins Best New Artist at the 2017 GRAMMY Awards

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agoodcartoon:

agoodcartoon:

secotm:

agoodcartoon:

davidessman:

His restaurant was robbed at gun point, and he was shot in the arm…

b y this logic the rich dont get shot at enough

How much does Randy Bish make for this, and how often does he get shot on the job?

i asked him via facebook, we’ll see if he responds. but i’m guessing “too much” and “not enough”

update:

twixie-answers-mod:

celticpyro:

trained-chimpanzee:

coyotebuegwater:

false 

‘validate my awful life choices and poor moral compass’ 

I remember a saying that went something like “A thief is someone who believes everyone steals,” and I feel like this applies to most things in life.

The only people who say “We all cheat” are people who cheat. Don’t trust them.

Jokes on you. I never been in a relationship long enough for cheating to be an option.

Can’t cheat if you don’t have a romantic relationship with anyone