ek-24z:

jupiter235:

startswithawiish:

So the worst part about working at a resort at Disney is that we have “have a magical day!” engrained into our brains.

And we sell condoms.

When people buy condoms and you hand them the bag like “HAVE A MAGICAL NIGHT!!!!”

They either blush or wink or go wide eyed and !!!!! It’s AWKWARD

This just made my night. 

Did it make your night magical?

flavor-text-chara:

At this point I’ve summed it up to “freaky science accident”.

Why is it that I can’t understand anyone who I can actually talk to?

outofcontextdnd:

“I throw my kebab at the vampire.”
“It dies.”
“What?”
“Garlic.”

just-shower-thoughts:

I always thought it was ridiculous that in movies giant creatures like dragons or monsters don’t immediately kill the humans. Then I remembered how humans act around spiders and realized that those giant creatures are actually probably terrified of us.

thespectacularspider-girl:

psychotoxsick:

autisticnarset:

the-laissez-pharaoh:

Leo: Origins (2016)

i thought this was an obituary at first and had a small heart attack

I almost started crying why u gotta do this to me

Fuck, me too.  

Brb, just taking out the trash

furriesfortrump:

raccooninthegirlslockerroom:

“do you think i research my comments” is the funniest thing i have ever heard a straight person say im gonna say it all the time 

Cishet: *sees a color* what is this gay shit

gearholder:

leadhooves:

That cat has no pants on!

HOW SCANDALOUS!! What is it with cats and not wearing pants!? I swer to g! >:Y