Silver Tongue

elestiel:

askboxmemes:

GIVE ME A TITLE IN MY ASKBOX

  • QUEEN/KING OF _____???
  • PRINCESS/PRINCE OF _____???
  • EMPRESS/EMPEROR OF _____???

bonus points:

  • HEIR TO _____???
  • GOD/GODDESS OF _____???
  • OVERLORD OF _____???
  • GUARDIAN/PROTECTOR OF ____???
  • THE PATRON SAINT OF ____???
  • MASTER/MISTRESS OF ____???
zippysqrl:
“ How do you like your eggs in the morning?
I like them slutty side up.
(Context that caused this monstrosity)
”

zippysqrl:

How do you like your eggs in the morning?

I like them slutty side up.

(Context that caused this monstrosity)

croptop2014:

j5h:

imagine having sex with a ghost and then someone walks into your room and they see your asshole widening and narrowing for no reason

imagine praying to God and going to church

iguanamouth:
“ “ an-eighth-of-faith submitted: My aunt’s wizard lizard. You know what to do.
(P.s. I love you very much)
” ”

iguanamouth:

an-eighth-of-faith submitted: My aunt’s wizard lizard. You know what to do.
(P.s. I love you very much)

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juza-the-cloud:
“ zenigata:
“ 2chan.net [ExRare]
”
he looks lost. someone please tell him where the nearest shoreline is. Cars probably hurt to step on like legos to him. pls help gojira
”

juza-the-cloud:

zenigata:

2chan.net [ExRare]

he looks lost. someone please tell him where the nearest shoreline is. Cars probably hurt to step on like legos to him. pls help gojira

misskittyfantastico:
“Did… Did Fables: The Wolf Among Us just reference John Mulaney’s Salt and Pepper Diner bit?
”

misskittyfantastico:

Did… Did Fables: The Wolf Among Us just reference John Mulaney’s Salt and Pepper Diner bit?

sosungalittleclodofclay:
“ survivorsupport:
“ I saw this in an old Cosmopolitan magazine so I took a picture of it to share with you.
”
and it will probably taste somewhat saltier.
and report all druggings/poisonings to the police.
”

sosungalittleclodofclay:

survivorsupport:

I saw this in an old Cosmopolitan magazine so I took a picture of it to share with you.

and it will probably taste somewhat saltier.
and report all druggings/poisonings to the police.

thegrandweebofedenderry:
“ cracked:
“  Obviously, while he’s distracted with his own monologue, you can throw everything you have at him and kill him. But the fastest, most surefire way to do the job is with an item most players ignore: the torch....

thegrandweebofedenderry:

cracked:

Obviously, while he’s distracted with his own monologue, you can throw everything you have at him and kill him. But the fastest, most surefire way to do the job is with an item most players ignore: the torch. It’s nothing but a simple torch Snake used earlier to find his way out of a cave, but if you jam it up The Fear’s ass, he goes up like a 1977 Ford Pinto.

Technically, the torch can burn any of Snake’s enemies, but most of them are smart enough to go somewhere else when you start poking them with flaming sticks. The programmers either forgot or didn’t bother to teach this trick to The Fear. He has no idea how to react to a colon-first fireball attack, so he will stand there and let the fire devour him. Because what maniac game developer could have foreseen players doing anything this strange?

Any player who spent an hour pumping bullets into The Fear in a straight gunfight knows he’s absurdly tough, so it takes forever for the fire to finish him off. Luckily, he will never figure out what’s going on, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the smell of roasting butthole.

6 Ways To Beat Game Bosses That The Designers Didn’t Intend

this is hideo kojima we’re talking about, he most definitely intended for you to defeat a boss by shoving a torch up their ass

ana-sthetic:

“Dont say you hate your fam-” No.

“Omg you should love your fami-” No.

“Be grateful they’re your famil-” No.

If you have been bullied, hit, teased, put down, hurt, lied to, or hated by you’re own family; you don’t need to justify how you feel. You dont need to explain yourself. You are allowed to hate a family member or dislike a family member if they’ve given you a reason to.

Blood of the covenant is thicker than the waters of the womb