Silver Tongue

theprogramisupgraded:

redeyesblackdr4gon:

yungcrybby:

unbitrium:

yourstarcolouredeyes:

bwarch:

zio-masada:

This is one of those “I scrolled down hoping for an explanation” things

Dude went to a Magic: The Gathering tournament and saw a whole lot of ass hanging out and decided to have fun with it.

This dude is also banned from said tournament because this photoset got so popular and it was considered insulting to the players…….

A true martyr.

The look in his eyes is majestic.

I feel like he’s a tour guide in a meninist museum who hates his job

he got banned for this too.

he was just telling the truth. conspiracy!

Your sacrifice for rustling my jimmies are dearly noted brother. May the base God bless you for eternity.

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Our hero returns.

kisbys:
“lately im feeling like a big bang, cause ive been making something out of nothing
”

kisbys:

lately im feeling like a big bang, cause ive been making something out of nothing

“We value your expertise”

clientsfromhell:

Client approached me for new website copy, complaining that the people who wrote their previous copy didn’t really nail the voice. I made sure to ask very specific questions about what they didn’t like and why, and wrote a brand guide for them before writing the website so I could be sure I was on the right track.

The whole torturous process has been studded with moments like this:

Me: So how would you describe the voice of your brand?

Client: It needs to be witty and urbane. Funny. But no actual jokes. 

Me: Here is your conversion-optimized website copy, with a full explanation of why I included certain pieces or phrased things a certain way. All of this is based on the research I did about your market. Please give me your feedback by adding comments instead of editing or rewriting the copy.

Client: (goes through every single page and rewrites it)

Me: We really want to keep the site copy about your visitors and what you can do for them, and less about you.

Client: Can you just replace [this piece, this piece, this piece, and that piece] with my copy, so they really know who I am?

Me: I’ve edited this piece down, as you requested, and would advise making it even shorter so it doesn’t look weird with the current site design.

Client: Put back in everything you edited out. Also, add this paragraph.

Client: Can we say “fabulously roomy” here?

Me: Yes.

Client during next round of edits: I’m not in love with “fabulously roomy”.

Pardon me while I drown myself in a bathtub of full of vodka.


> Want to know if freelancing is for you?

bookavid:

acejeangrey:

preciouscauliflower:

had a dream last night that the Daleks got wind of the phrase “an apple a day keeps the Doctor away” and, y’know, took it literally. they built this massive fucking fortress out of fucking apples and just like chilled in there and Rose was like “doctor wot r u gonna do” and ten was just like  “i’m not gonna do anything, maybe they’ll just sit quietly in their apple dome”

woke up laughing

@nativehueofresolution

Oh my god send this to the bbc

sounds like it would still be better than anything moffats wrote recently

reallygrantaire:

harrison: *in a completely monotone voice and like he’s given up on the entire star wars franchise* bang. bang.

carrie: *actually acting* no luke, it’s too late!

harrison: *in that same monotone voice* … bang. bang.

/harrison and carrie run offstage/

lady-kaede:

pisshets:

lizzytea:

pisshets:

In cars two at the airport the cars have to go through tsa checks and take off their wheels and stuff which implies the cars Universe had a 9/11

Wait. Oh my god. But planes are sentient in the cars universe. Did cars hijack the plane or did the planes fly themselves.

Nobody knows

Buddy they have car pope. A car jesus died on a car cross and we’re worried if car bush did car 9/11

actualcanadiansherlockholmes:

urbieknowsbest:

lzbth:

a….boy??? that likes girls who are natural???? no makuep??? wow no freindzone for you very special gentleman snowflake

This is a lie.  I still get friendzoned. Quite often i might add.  Im not scorned by it.  just a fact.  

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moonofficial:

me, as a spy: ok gotta be quiet gotta be sneaky
my joints: *crack*

khaleesiah:

Favorite quotes/moments: assassin’s creed: brotherhood