thequantumqueer:

outofcontextdnd:

Theres a thousand ways you could have described david bowie and that was NONE of them!

If you stripped John Watson of his dirty beach robe and separated the identical quadruplets who were unfortunate enough to have been stuck together in a horrific blend of the human centipede and voltron, you would have four men who didn’t exactly look like David Bowie, but whom those who knew him would find hauntingly familiar.

The DM described david bowie as “the rock guy… You know… from the 80s?”

tuesdayknight:

nanopup:

please watch this

When ur high af and your parents try and talk to you

incorrectfmaquotes:

(submitted by  silver-tongues-blog)

yourplayersaidwhat:

Gnome Warlock: Is there any paladin magic you can use to-

Orc Paladin: To heal myself? I think so.

Gnome Warlock: No, i was gonna say to kill them all

yourplayersaidwhat:

Bard: So the big bad event is going to happen on the same day tiamat returns… Fuck… We’re gonna die arent we

DM: you arent…. well shit, i was gonna say you arent gonna die but then i remembered i literally just killed one of you a few minutes ago

yourplayersaidwhat:

Fish Demon NPC: You would not have seek me out… seeked me? see…

Gnome Warlock: Sucked

Fish Demon NPC: You would have not sucked me.. no thats not it

yourplayersaidwhat:

DM angrily: At this rate your army’s gonna consist of living gemstones and souls trapped inside robots

Gnome warlock OOC: Hey youre the one who said we should build an army!

DM angry but still laughing: I DIDNT MEAN LITERALLY

outofcontextdnd:

Theres a thousand ways you could have described david bowie and that was NONE of them!