I just realized I haven’t told you guys about how 3rd President of the United States Thomas Jefferson haunts my dorm room.
Okay so basically at the beginning of the year, weird shit began happening in our dorm room, me and my roommate would hear/see things, TVs and phones and computers would start on there own and do other weird things.
We decided jokingly that the room was haunted and named the ghost Jeff and even made it a door tag.
Me and my roommate began to notice a trend it the activity of “Jeff” He always seemed to act up most when I talked shit about Thomas Jefferson or James Madison’s personality/policies/etc.
We began to joke that it was Thomas Jefferson or James Madison (hell we even joked it might be Dolley)
Well the other day, our ghost confirmed himself as “Thomas Jefferson.”
After a particularly rude attack on Thomas Jefferson character (I claimed the best thing he ever did was die.) A fucking giant ass jumbo size box of Mac and Cheese fell off of the tallest shelf in our dorm room.
I’m talking one of these babies but it’s like a 20 pack. To me it’s obviously that this is obviously proof that “inventor” of mac and cheese, 3rd President of the United States who was born and died in Virginia travelled to Upstate New York in an area he never even came close to in his life to haunt my dorm
My roommate is not convinced though: She still thinks it could be James Madison.
But a Madison-sized ghost couldn’t have reached the mac and cheese (We conducted an experiment to see if Madison would have been able to reach it when he was only 5′4″ and being 5′4″, I couldn’t even reach it jumping up and down.)
So yes, me and my roommate have proved undeniable that Thomas Jefferson haunts our dorm room.
Also she pointed out that we randomly named the ghost “Jeff” which is pretty fucking close to Jefferson. Coincidence? OBVIOUSLY NOT.
“But a Madison-sized ghost couldn’t have reached the mac and cheese”
I’m so glad I was alive to see this sentence written.
Why were you regularly shit talking founding fathers tho
So vampires don’t show up in film or mirrors, right? What if that applies to literally any kind of sensor. You got some 2000-year-old emissary of the night cussing out an automatic soap dispenser.
automatic doors. AUTOMATIC DOORS
Those light switches that shuts down when they sense lack of activity.
tbh… the captain underpants movie needs to be added to the list of gay media coming out in 2017 bc in the last captain underpants book we find out that harold is gay
You know who did the teen hero thing right? Kim Possible, that’s who. She never messed around with that secret identity thing or with not letting her parents or friends know what she was doing so she never had to deal with, “Oh, I’m gonna miss this important family event to save the world” or, “What’ll happen if my friends find out my secret identity?” bullcrap. It was like, “Mom, Dad. I gotta go deal with this Drakken sitch,” and they’d just be like, “Have fun. Tell Ron we said hi.” She had that hero/personal life balance thing on lock. I aspire to have my life as in balance as Kim Possible.
“Are you seeing this sh*t, human?” (via convicttv)
These chews are called rawhide chews, and please please PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NEVER GET YOUR DOGS THESE!! They’re so FUCKING bad and even dangerous for them! Here are reasons why:
1) They use all sorts of chemicals (like formaldehyde, arsenic, and bleach) to preserve them and make them look white and nice for your dog.
2) Not only do they use glue to keep the shape of the bone the way it is, but the thing basically IS glue. It’s so preserved, that when a dog eats it, it keeps it’s goopiness and can harden in the dog’s stomach, causing blockages. I’ve heard dozens of stories of dogs having to go to the ER to get these surgically removed from their intestines.
3) When they’re not chewed properly, the edges can be sharp and cause tearing in your dog’s stomach lining.
4) THESE THINGS HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO KILL DOGS, CAUSE SEIZURES, ALL SORTS OF OTHER HORRIBLE THINGS, AND THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH.
There are natural alternatives, like tendons, bones, antlers, bully sticks/pizzle sticks, or vege chews. They ARE more expensive, but they are worth the money.
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
