tesladyneindustries:

idea: a teleportation spell, but it takes 15 seconds to use and looks like a corny powerpoint transition when you cast it

c0ffeekitten:

I’m always so flattered when bees buzz by me. Sorry miss, I’m not a flower, but it’s very sweet that you thought I was

lagonegirl:

There’s no getting outta this one

cockismybusiness:

Now he’s gotta explain Malon about how he gave away her hand on a chicken game. This is actually inspired by an ask someone send to @kristadlee which made me laugh too much. 

kuroi-sakura:

oukaori:

micma:

605 LETS GOOOOOOO

OH BOY

HAPPY BARFDAAAAY!

slimetony:

rcktpwr:

slimetony:

Totinos isnt moving forward with the sponsorship deal until I agree to post the phrase “I’m horny for pizza rolls”. I won’t go there. I won’t ever be publicly horny on the internet.

as a pretend lawyer randy i gotta point out that you have posted the phrase anyway. good news? cold hard totino cash. bad news? you gotta fuck a pizza

I sure chose the wrong hill to die on.

pixelkitties:

Camping With Trixie by *PixelKitties

Trixie’s War on Wheels continues. Good thing Sweete Belle just recharged her hydrogen fuel cells!

bartlebyshop:

hamiltonianflow:

mapsontheweb:

Diversity of tree species in the US.

What did Americans do to have 1 (one) spieces of trees in half of their country?!

This is a topographical map of the United States

slimetony:

cake-full-of-fist:

slimetony:

girlfriend broke up with me because I’d screech and block the monitor with my hands every time I saw an ass while playing overwatch

Fake post, you don’t have a girlfriend randy

Not anymore she broke up with me because I’d get too horny playing overwatch