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ancient politicians who would still make better presidents than donald trump
- clodius pulcher: mostly loved to cause a ruckus. notorious cross-dresser and prince-stealer
- cicero: spent most of his political career insulting people he didn’t like (see mark antony). was so proud of saving the republic that he wrote two epic poems about how great he is
- julius caesar: gained power by beating the shit out of his opponents but at least tried to help the poor. once received a sext from his girlfriend in the middle of a senate meeting which was then angrily read by said girlfriend’s half-brother who thought it was evidence that he was participating in a conspiracy
- cato the elder: main political achievement that he is remembered for was screaming that carthage must be destroyed at the end of every speech
- didius julianus: purchased the roman empire at an auction and was later executed for being useless
- mark antony: frat boy politician well-known for wearing the ancient equivalent of booty shorts and coming to political meetings hungover
- pupienus: ruled for three months before being assassinated by the praetorian guard. name is pronounced “poopy anus”
What about Emperor Caligula who declared war on neptune and demanded his troops attack the sea. They realized how stupid it was and just took seashells to him and claimed they had won. he believed them
john-paul-jonesing-for-liberty:
A Wisconsin mall Santa decided to handle one of the naughty list members early this year when a young girl told him her Christmas wish was for her stepdad to stop molesting her. He and four of his elves attacked the guy, who was waiting nearby, and pummeled him unconscious.
An eyewitness recalled, “Santa didn’t say nothing. He just grabbed the back of the guy’s skull and headbutted him REAL hard.” The witness continued on to say, “Then Kringle got on top of him and just started pummeling him. He was laughing and screaming ‘Ho! Ho! Ho! Motherfucker!’
I love this.
There should be more stories like this
Dave Strudel in D2 it was perfect to try the trickster look as was grimbark Jade for C4 (my two anon hs asks that look better when bigger so click, please no more! challenge by soupery!)
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what they say: I hate tumblr
what they mean: even though I am grateful tumblr helped me being more aware of social issues this site is taking these too far and has developed some kind of mob mentality which seems to take it as their duty to punish every "problematic" thing anyone has ever done, completely ignoring that they never were perfect themselves.
Their harassment is almost always over the top, and the mob happily goes after anyone as long as someone can claim it's been an act of oppression.
Therefore posting an opinion is very risky and accompanied with literal fear of harassment as this mob does not know when to stop, and cases of doxing have never been criticized either, and if I were to post legit criticism on some oppressed group I had a 50% chance to find people agreeing with me and 50% chance to be treated like the fucking antichrist.
