[ALERT] Your reputation with the asexual faction is critically low!
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Posting Tip Of The Day: Try using a variety of styles of humor to appeal to a wider audience!
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1 new message from Giant Centipede
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i mean. she garlic bread. on my plate till i. eat the bread
-1 point reputation with Celiac Faction
The Low Carb Girlies will remember this
FUCK. she um uh she uh. garlic
————————————————————————————————— [ALERT] Your reputation with the Gay Vampires faction (HIGH PRIORITY) is critically low! [ALERT] Your reputation with the Straight Vampires faction (LOW PRIORITY) is critically low! [ALERT] Your reputation with Wario has maxed out! —————————————————————————————————
Herschel normally plays in the Large Dog group at daycare because he is Too Intense for the Shi-tuzs, but yesterday he was kicked back into small group for “Playing too hard with Big Herschel”.
For context, My terrible goblin baby is a 38lb corgi “Big Herschel” is a 140lb Rhodesian Ridgeback, also named Herschel
…and by “Playing too hard” they apparently meant “Your wretched crime baby has figured out how to do a WWE-style flying tackle off the top of the sunning/shade platform (4ft high platform to dogs to lie on or under) and Big Herschel was starting to get scared to go near it.”
Fortunately, there was a Basset hound in smalls to sumo-wrestle with so he still got to play but Baby dog. PLEASE.
So APPARENTLY he’s been doing his Flying Squirrel Maneuver for months now, it’s just never been a problem before because Charleston plays in the same group and if he sees Herschel jump off that platform he anime-teleports across the playground to counter-tackle Herschel out of midair in what I can only assume is an activation of Charlie’s Older Brother Instincts.
This has interrupted Herschel’s Reign Of Terror From Above on previous occasions, so the staff didn’t feel the need to tell me.
But it was Warm and Sunny yesterday and Charlie could not be arsed to get up from where he was cosplaying a solar panel on the same platform. Herschel was essentially running continuous laps onto the platform, into the air, on top of the tallest dog in range (mostly Big Herschel), and back up the platform at high speed, so Big Herschel was taking a flying corgi to the face every four seconds for a bit there until someone finally caught Herschel and dumped him in with the Basset Hound.
The Basset Hound’s name is Leia and she is ALSO apparently a major criminal that understands how RFID tag collars work, so I assume she and Herschel will have a Phinneas-and-Ferb style giant robot built by the end of the month.
So apparently, Miss Leia was also Removed From Large Dogs Group.
She’s 53lbs because she’s basically a bloodhound with lower standards, if you will, which means she is short enough to climb under the regular (2ft high) play boxes AND strong enough to push the heavy plywood box around from the inside like Solid Snake sneaking through a fortress, except she decided to charge around the play yard at mach fuck in her new mobile fortress and took out one of the staff at the knees.
I am asking the staff to leave a note with Leia’s leash asking her owner if she wants to come over and do battle with The Goblin King next week. It’ll be intellectually stimulating for them and my knees are already fucked.
I’m an Absentee Atheist. I think a god made the world, but it was an action so insignificant to the higher will that it is not aware we exist, rendering existence effectively godless.
I’m a Mutual Exclusivity Polytheist. I believe the world is woven by several demiurges at once, all of whom are entirely unaware of each other’s existence.
I’m a Deferential Semantic Atheist. I believe in a god in the sense that I believe in gravity; as an observed phenomenon that I do not understand, but am confident that other people with more time on their hands can prove the existence of.
I’m an Autogenesis Absentee Deist. I believe that God is instantiated like a mind into the divine clockwork of the material physics of the universe. I am not a Pantheist, as I believe that this mind designed and consciously instantiated itself into the world through some unknown method, however this is annoying to explain at parties so I generally don’t talk about it much.
I’m an Antirationalist Manichean. I think God built the world, but the Devil built causality, thus any train of thought that follows logically is incorrect, and the result of trickery.
I’m a radical Hindu-Gnostic Monotheist. I think Brahman should make up it’s mind and knock all this “emanation” shit off and squeeze back into a monad.
I’m a Chaos Agnostic. I believe the universe exists in a constantly changing spectrum of divinity from “Was Made By a Present God” to “There is no god” and it changes every 24 hours or so.
I’m an extremely localized animist. Only my dog has a spirit.
Op is actually an interfaith spiritualist and channeling each of these deceased in turn
Jupiter Icy Moons Explorer, or JUICE, will be launching in 10 DAYS on April 13th, 2023! he will travel for 7-8 years to orbit jupiter around 2031! good luck JUICE!
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
