Silver Tongue

thecw4kids:

ghost in the house: GET OUT. I WILL TAKE YOU-

real estate agent: chill, its me.

ghost: oh hey. have you sold it yet.

real estate agent: obviously NOT, idiot.

jamestheasian:
“ aquamarinespinnerlover:
“ It’s 2:00am and I have finally finished the shawl that I have been working on to wear to Easter breakfast. Which is at 10:00am.
”
That’s cool. I just thought this was a table wearing underwear.
”

jamestheasian:

aquamarinespinnerlover:

It’s 2:00am and I have finally finished the shawl that I have been working on to wear to Easter breakfast. Which is at 10:00am.

That’s cool. I just thought this was a table wearing underwear.

valykas:

This is amazing

tastefullyoffensive:

Zero floofs given. [full video]

clientsfromhell:

Me: I would like to send out an email to your client list. I will need their email addresses.

Client: I will write them and send them to you.

Me: That is not a great solution. I will send you a spreadsheet. Can you type in the addresses? It will save me a lot of time.

Client: No problem.

Two days later, I got that spreadsheet.

By fax.

toasternudel:

logging on to tumblr on november 1stimage

harostar:

pastel-little-taiga:

mockingbirdie:

steviemcfly:

Trump is only two points ahead in Texas now. If you’re in Texas and vote third party or don’t vote this year, I will personally never forgive you for stealing the joy of watching the GOP freak out at Texas going blue from me.

Fellow Texans: DO NOT WRITE IN BERNIE. 

He literally does not want your vote, he literally wants you to vote for Hillary, and because of this he did not file to be an approved write-in candidate which means if you write him in your vote literally does not count.

For all voters in all states who were thinking of doing a Bernie write in.

Better yet: Should Clinton win and the democrats manage to win in the Senate…..Bernie Sanders is poised to be the Budget Committee Chairman.


image

Here’s the post, btw. 

Bernie Sanders wants us to vote for Clinton, and support Democrats across the country. If this goes as planned, he will be able to accomplish SO MUCH. 

So please, please do not write him in. Vote for Clinton, and support him in our Senate.

On a scale of Gandalf to Hermoine, how many logs can a beaver cut if a log cabin needed waxing? owo

vonisv:

>be me

>playing Skyrim Monopoly with my friends

>opens up the box and takes out pieces

>all of the game pieces are stuck T-posing; even the non-humanoid pieces

>game board texture is missing

>one of the rules states that one player must ask the previous one if they’ve been to the Cloud District recently

>roll the dice

>it just stops right before it hits the board and begins violently vibrating and clipping through my table before launching out of my window and killing my neighbor across the street

>charged with reckless manslaughter and must serve 10 years without parole