Silver Tongue

lame-astrology:

so I was just ordering a pizza, and the call picked up and I could hear the background sounds of the pizzeria, but no one said anything. So, naturally, I just assumed that they were away from the phone, or something. Anyways, SpongeBob was on the TV and I was quoting it under my breath like “Ravioli, Ravioli give me the formuioli.” And then I heard this laughter from the phone, and this girl was like “Did you just call to whisper that into the phone, or are you actually going to order something?” I have never been more embarrassed someone save me

lame-astrology:
“ are you shitting me
”

lame-astrology:

are you shitting me

professoroakward:
“ professoroakward:
“ ✨#035 & #094✨
”
@richardbemadden i agree
”
enrique262:
“ Submitted by cavalier-renegade
”

dizzysdomain:

shoona:

If you are having a bad night here is a drawing if a snake wearing a boot

image

image

kunamathesilverfilly:

archicide:

a lot of fedora-type dudes don’t actually wear fedoras, you just know them from the way they are. it’s like a personality fedora. an internal fedora

It’s their fedaura.

trained-chimpanzee:

coyotebuegwater:

false 

‘validate my awful life choices and poor moral compass’ 

Me 10 seconds after joining a new fandom

discount-supervillain:

I had a dream about a very strong grandpa. I think. Or maybe I was a very strong grandpa? Something like that.

Someone who doesn't own cats: Awwww!!! Pumpkin!! Sweetie !! Precious !! Flour!!!
Cat owner: hey assmaster whats in your mouth