Silver Tongue

roaxes:

Ugh on fire again…

thegirldetective:

beyonceforbreakfast:

mallomallo:

gloomyteens:

gloomyteens:

when you feel your clothes fresh out of the oven

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OKAY SO I REALIZED I USED OVEN INSTEAD OF DISHWASHER BUT I KINDA FORGOT WHAT IT WAS CALLED AND USED THE NEXT BEST GUESS I COULD THINK OF

It’s called a washing machine

i think its a dryer like who would be feeling wet ass clothes

this post is a fucking train wreck

devilmonster18:

sunwukong-stoaway:

ringaroundtheprose:

the-captain-of-davesol:

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THE ULTIMATE FUCKING POST

You know it’s good when you bother to scroll all the way back up just to reblog it.

…Wait scroll up HOW OLD IS THIS THING

ITS BACK!

everythingroosterteeth:

themadkinglives:

BURNIE

HOLY FUCK BURNIE

now we know why he’s called burnie burns. because he just burned that prick

is there anything that dave could do that would be out of character other than shutting the fuck up?

rosexknight:
“ zoinomiko:
“ themorninglark:
“ crollalanzaa:
“ italianbasilisk0317:
“ #fanficproblems
” ”
guys i can’t emphasise enough how important this is
please consider all of these factors facing fanfic writers, who are doing this for fun and no...

rosexknight:

zoinomiko:

themorninglark:

crollalanzaa:

italianbasilisk0317:

#fanficproblems

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guys i can’t emphasise enough how important this is

please consider all of these factors facing fanfic writers, who are doing this for fun and no return whatsoever beyond the love of the thing. thank you.

Fixed.

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HAHAHAHAHA

ajecomicry:
“ wax on wax off
”

ajecomicry:

wax on wax off

zwampert:

klinklang:

dolphin-shoals:

klinklang:

klinklang:

you can’t spell sexy without xy

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you also can’t spell orgasm without ORAS

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And you also cant spell double penetration without DPt

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SINNOH CONFIRMED

This is the best post in the Pokemon fandom and nobody can convince me otherwise.

wyomingsmustache:

steel-dragon:

lolrider:

faedex:

spitandvinegar:

New hobby idea: using phrases that sound like down-home folksy expressions you learned from your grandma but are actually just nonsense you just made up

- that man really salts my melon!

- you know what they say, it takes a bushel of corn to feed one chicken

- a louse will live on any head it lands on

- don’t put down a salt lick and say you ain’t got cows

- there’s a guy who eats half the berries and says the pie shell’s too big

- like digging a pond and hoping for ducks

This was supposed to be a joke and all but as a southerner, these still make sense.

its weird these don’t mean anything but you can still kind of intuit what they would mean if they were things people actually said.

@lexicalpsychopathy I literally can’t help but picture you saying all of these

That man really salts my melon: Salt is actually frequently added to melons around here, so someone who salted your melon would be doing you a favor, or make something more appealing. Even though the framing presents it as a negative thing, so maybe you’d use it for someone who annoys you by doing you a favor.

It takes a bushel of corn to feed one chicken: Even if something might seem like a small ask, over time it might add up. A single chicken might eat a small amount of corn in a single day, but over time you’ll find you’ve bought lots of corn. Therefore, something that seems miniscule may in fact be a large commitment.

A louse will live on any head in lands on: Everyone can suffer through bad times and ill luck, regardless of their lot in life. (ie, anyone can suffer from depression, even if they haven’t got it “bad enough”)

Don’t put down a salt lick and say you ain’t got cows: There are multiple possible meanings for this. My favorite is don’t take time fixing a problem you don’t even have, ie, if you don’t have cows, you don’t have the problem of your cows needing a salt lick.

There’s a guy who eats half the berries and says the pie shell’s too big: Don’t blame circumstances for a problem of your own creation.

Like digging a pond and hoping for ducks: Don’t just hope something will turn out after one step, actually follow through all of them. Your pond could attract ducks, sure, or you could just go get ducks to live in your pond.

Seriously, every single one of these nonsenses you just made up follow a certain internal logic and make perfect sense.

like fillin’ a barrel full of rainwater